My Total Perspective Vortex

2012-01-17T21:08:00.003-06:00

SOPA and PIPA are huge obstacles to the continuation of free speech and a free press. It's clear that the politicians supporting them have no idea how the fundamental pieces of this legislation will effect everyday life on the Internet. It's not about piracy - it's about greed and control. http://sopastrike.com/

This link has a good example of how law abiding web sites would be shut down by this legislation - http://www.techdirt.com/articles/20111220/03135817138/myth-that-sopapipa-only-impact-foreign-sites.shtml

Lots more information here - they've been following this story for a long time. http://www.techdirt.com/blog/?tag=sopa

Physics

2012-01-12T00:06:00.002-06:00

New Traditions

2011-12-11T23:35:00.000-06:00

Real tree. Surprisingly I am not actually allergic to pine trees.

I got rid of all the plastic balls and pretty for pretty's sake ornaments. I was hesitant because we have cats and little kids. What I kept was anything handmade, glass, or nutcracker themed because I love that ballet a lot. The kids make ornaments in art class and we have plenty besides that. The tree may not be loaded with baubles but it is very pretty.

My brother, Uncle T, brought his beautiful family for a visit. We made Tootalini's and drank lots of coffee. He is just back from Afghanistan and is hanging a soldier ornament. Then of course his wife broke out into song and dance, "Soulja Boy".....cute. And kind of ....well, I hope my girls never get the references in it. Thank you Urban Dictionary.

Lil'Bug carefully hung each one, on the right side of the bottom of the tree.

I pointed that out. She called me a grinch. I wore my elf hat, she wore her elf hat.

Lil'Bug decorated most of the tree. Blueberry Girl crashed early, but when she got up in the morning and every morning since, she says, "Good MORNING CHRISTMAS! GOOD MORNING TREE! HAS SANTA BROUGHT ME A POGO STICK?!" and then she checks. Not yet kiddo.

Cousin J. The artist!

Watching Annie. The room always gets like this mid afternoon.

Is it just me or is it hard for other people to see their little brothers all grown up?

Speaking of little brothers......Zap is giving his sisters a run for it this week, He bites now. He has two itty bitty teeth on the bottom and he leans over to fake out a kiss.......CHOMP. Giggle giggle. And then he laughs some more.

CHOO CHOO! *warning, breastfeeding picture

2011-11-16T23:46:00.001-06:00

We had deliveries in Boone so I reserved tickets to the Scenic Valley Railway and packed a picnic. Blueberry Girl was SO EXCITED. She loves trains, cars, planes, and tools. This day was HERS.

I love homeschooling. Mine were not the only children on the train, but they were the only ones who struck up conversations with folks, including a midwife from Oregon and a couple from South Africa.

What? Mama wants us to smile? At the same time? Ha ha ha ha.

Blueberry Girl is saying, "Trains! For the win!"

I love love love the way Blueberry Girl runs.

1920's passenger train. Blueberry Girl touched and admired everything about it.

No AC! Of course!

Like her nature, she watched and listened the whole trip. In awe.

See? Totally obscene right? Take that facebook.

Iowa is beautiful. Every single time I am blessed with viewing her vistas, the fullness of the blessing of living here takes my breath away.

And true to her nature, she talked non stop the entire train ride. Didn't even notice when a truck clipped the train. People, do NOT try and go around closed barrier arms when a train is on the tracks.

Beautiful too.

Baby Zap is ONE

2011-11-08T23:08:00.000-06:00

One year ago. Birthday.

He was so impossibly small. 4 lbs 7 ounces when we brought him home. Lil'Bug and Blueberry Girl were both 9+lb'ers. Premie clothes are HARD to find. The 2 days he spent in the light box was impossibly hard. I cannot imagine having a NICU baby. I cannot imagine not being able to even hold your baby's hand while he sleeps. That light booth was heartbreaking enough. I have spent a lot of time praying for NICU babies this month.

One Year LATER......

Zap is thriving. Tripled his birth weight, grown 7 inches. Sometimes this year was hard. He was diagnosed with failure to thrive because he gains weight slow and grows slow, that diagnosis changed to 22Q11 Deletion Syndrome 7 months ago. You know what that means to me? So much. It means that the impossible happened again. Most children diagnosed with 22Q11 need open heart surgery. Zap's heart is perfect. Most children with 22Q11 have a cleft palate. Nope. Not Zap. He's also got his thymus, kidneys, and parathyroid. We have gone to specialist after specialist trying to check off all the things that 22Q11 can mean for a child. So far, God has blessed this child in so many ways and blessed us too. We do not know what our path holds, but we keep walking it, thankful everyday for the health and joy that Zap brings to our lives.

So. No. He's not crawling yet. But he will. He's not walking yet either. That will come too. He has not yet found his voice. I will be his voice for now. Every time someone curious or aggressive starts criticizing his progress, I will be his voice. I will carry him. I will teach him what love looks like, sounds like, and feels like.

Happy Birthday Baby Zap. Mama loves you.

Lil'Bug's Birthday Seven plus birthday action for cousins and Zap too

2011-11-06T21:32:00.032-06:00

Baby Zap. He's quite somber sometimes. Lil'Bug thinks he is Harry Potter because of his birthmark. Love that girl.

Unless he has something to drum on or a book in hand. Then he gets chatty!

Uh Oh....Baby Izzie moving in!

You know what's cute? First time moms. Just sayin. She should write a book from all the things she knows. I say that because I have been there. And I would have gotten just as mad if someone pointed that out to me. Mostly she's just cute and adorable and her baby is too.

It won't be long. Soon all the cousins will play tag outside. The big girls ran around while waiting for cake.

Then cake happened. The pretzel sticks for the baby to eat instead of candles were not a big hit. Everyone thought I was a big party pooper lam-o for that idea. Whatever. They were YUMMY.

Zap's favourite new toy. Honk honk!

Best present ever? All she wanted was a stuffed horse and I could not find one (locally, not made in China). So , we went to hy-vee to get party food and I surprised her by letting her pick out a balloon. But then when we got there and she said purple, I interrupted and said ONE OF EVERY COLOUR please. The look on Lil'Bug's face was priceless. Blueberry Girl too. Best. Present. Ever.

I might add though, if the party is going to be at someone else's house, check to make sure that their ceilings are not made of balloon assassinating texture bumpy stuff. Just sayin', in case you noticed that there are only six balloons left by the time we took pictures. There were 14 to begin with, 1 got loose while loading the car, one escaped to the clouds while unloading at grandmas house. All others died from the ceiling kiss. No matter. The purples lived and that's really all that matters to Lil'Bug. Viva la PURPLE!

Happy Seven Sweetie.

Farm Crawl 2011

2011-10-09T21:13:00.001-05:00

Farm Crawl. It is basically a co-advertised open house day for area farms. But it is more than that too. It is the single event that pointed my farm search south, really got us excited about possibilities, and propelled us into this life. Last year it was surreal, BEING on Farm Crawl, even though our farm is too far south to actually be a location, we had a booth at Reichert's Dairy Air (the dairy that gifts us whey to feed our pigs).

This year the dairy had a petty zoo area with baby goats. My kid got in and stayed in most of the afternoon. She helped kids pet the goats, helped keep the goats happy too. She was not the only one though, there were two teenagers actually assigned to the task- but Lil'Bug jumped in and held her ground. She LOVES Lois' goats.

This was our little table. Note the incredible view behind us. Ah, fall in Southern Iowa. This year, I held back a whole ham to make something we call, "Pulled Ham," and it was again delicious. We ran out of bite sized samples in two hours. We could not keep up with the demand. *Recipe to follow.

Our table display is a bit outdated as far as pictures go. I need to add photos of the sheep, the new shelters, and the buckets of apples.

We worked the event as a family. Even with the three kids (to be fair, Lil'Bug left with friends before Blueberry Girl arrived with Grampa), it went well. We LOVE talking to people about our farm. We can handle the few conventional farmers who come through and mock what we do. We build relationships AND educate people about pastured pork, Berkshire pigs, what the whey and apples do for flavour, and about how to buy locally, directly from the farmer.

I heard there were 1300+ people that attended Farm Crawl. Wow.

One of the things I observed was that it also gave us a chance to meet new neighbors, some who are doing what we do or at least want to do what we do. It was like meeting us 4 years ago, over and over. We met a neighboring farm family who also have sheep, the daughter visited a couple days later and gave me a private spinning lesson on a drop spindle. So cool. (Waves, Hi Amanda! If you have a blog, I'll link it here, btw).

Farm Crawl rejuvenates us each year, helps us build our farm and our dream. Thank you, all you genius farmers who came up with the idea and thank you for including us.

Recipe for Pulled Ham, or Holiday Ham

However many lbs of ham you need- adjust recipe.

This is how much I used: About 12-15 lbs. More or less. I had the ham cut into ham steaks, 1-1.5 lbs each- though I am pretty sure the bottom two were 2 lbs each. At least.

I use a big roaster. It is like a crock pot, but has actual temperature settings. 10pm the night before I load the thawed meat in the roaster (though, it can go from frozen too). Then I added:

2 sticks of butter, salted
1/2 cup REAL maple syrup (not the fake pancake syrup. Very important)
2 teaspoons of Kosher salt
2 teaspoons of chinese powdered mustard
2 teaspoons cayenne (Do NOT skip this, it is for flavour not spice)
1/4 cup REAL lemon juice (though orange juice works in a pinch, pineapple might too but I have not tried it)
2 tablespoons of granulated dried garlic

That is it folks.

Then set it for 250 degrees for 12 hours. At that time, right before serving, break apart the meat (the pulled part) and stir the carmelly sauce and the meat together. Turn up the temperature to 350 degrees and get it all bubbly. Then it is perfect, fall of the bone, melt in your mouth perfect.

You can adjust the spices, just don't leave any out.

Farm Art and all the bits of the summer winding....

2011-09-15T23:45:00.000-05:00

The Soccer Mom Metamorphosis

2011-09-06T21:26:00.000-05:00

It is no secret to people and family who know us that Chad and I don't understand sports. Because we don't understand them, we don't enjoy watching them, so we don't go to games or watch them on television. I often get mixed up on team colours even for schools I attended. I had never seen tailgating before an episode of Monk I watched on Netflix.

When I was a kid though, I was really good at basketball. I even one a school tournament for free throw and attended the State tourney. I was 9. I also played soccer. I loved being goalie and I loved playing on the team. (I can still sink a good basket, usually surprising anyone watching, myself included.)

Then we moved to a different state and it was hard, with the transition I guess, to get me back into sports. The window for that was small I guess and I never got back in. I might have attended a few sports games here and there, but mostly to take pictures or socialize or just enjoy being outside. The game was never important to me.

Geeze Louise that was like 30 odd years ago.

My daughters want to be in sports. They like kicking a ball around. They like running. They love it all.

It is killing Blueberry Girl to not be out there with Lil'Bug's team, practicing and playing. She dramatically sulks the whole time and, if we are not looking, she bolts for the field. She was excited though to wear an orange shirt just like the team.

Kicking it old school, yo.

Just to think out loud though, the coach asked me after their first game, what I thought. I'll share with you these thoughts.

What I value most in my girls learning soccer:

I hope that they show care and concern for injured players, their own teammates and opposing players. If that means they miss a kick because they turned around to help someone up, that's ok with me.
I hope they have fun, breathe good air, and run hard.
I hope that they learn that some things have rules and when you choose to play a game, you play by those rules and inside the lines. I hope they remember that most things in life are just games like this, ones you choose to play.
I hope that they make some friends. If they don't that's ok too.
I also hope that they score some goals and block some too. If they don't it is not the end of the world to me, but it will be for them and that's why I care.

So, basically I want my girls to have fun doing something they care about. I keep getting offhand remarks about how important sports are to the socialization of homeschooled children, as if it is not also beneficial to institutionalized children. So I just let those comments go because they are silly and don't matter in the end. Eventually people get to know my kids and our family, conflict and comebacks are not a good way to build relationships with people. That in itself is a good lesson that many adults I know still need to learn.

The game today was 3-3. Excellent. Lil'Bug blocked a goal and kicked the ball a few times. She also got dramatic when she was tired and bored/distracted sometimes too. It was her first game though, after only 3 practices. She also helped 2 kids who fell, one from the other team. So I think she played a really good game.

I need to look up what all the lines mean. The only ones I get are the outside border.

So, here's another thing. What is cheering etiquette? Lil'Bug told me not to cheer her name. She said the coach said it is distracting to the players. We should use the team name "Ball Hogs". Also if everyone is cheering for a certain kid, yelling their name, do we join in? Chad says no way. I have no idea, but now I feel bad because I did.

Also, does this make me a soccer mom? Do I need special gear? Bumper stickers? Sunglasses? What's the secret code?

the not yets will fill their childhood until it's gone

2011-09-04T23:30:00.003-05:00

I posted over here today as well.

The kids and the farm have me on my toes for sure. I wake up early and basically fall into bed at night utterly exhausted.

One thing I keep in the front of my mind is that their childhood is fleeting and the not yets will fill their childhood until it's gone. So I leave the dishes to sing and dance with them. I make sure we have clean clothes on and combed hair and just scowl at the laundry instead of spending my time with it. My house could be picture perfect, the walls the perfect colour, the floors perfectly shined, but the loss is too great. I only have precious years to spend with them and then it will be gone. So much can happen in a lifetime, too much not to make every single wish flower and kiss blown on the wind count.

the not yets will fill their childhood

until it''s gone

My babies will have their childhood filled with laughter, frogs, and silly kisses from their mama.

Baby Zap at the Park

2011-09-02T23:49:00.000-05:00


Baby Zap is sitting up on his own and finally past the point where he has to concentrate and strain to do it. Look at that smile!

Blueberry Girls fixes things and stuff.....Rattle Nuts

2011-07-25T00:35:00.002-05:00

Our chicken delivery day from the kids' point of view.....

2011-07-25T00:16:00.001-05:00

The car and the cooler. That was our mission......

Rolling out of the farm. A beautiful day that we did not intend to spend in the car, but Daddy needed our help!

Dressing cute is not optional.

First we met Sarah and she got baby cuddles. She's one hardcore customer to wait for an hour in the heat!

The girls all played in front of the shops while we waited. Chad was delayed due to weather and traffic accident travel slowdown on I-80.

They played train mambo.....

And hide and seek.....

We went from house to house delivering chickens and it rained and we got lost and finally we ended at a friend's birthday party! Water balloon madness was in full swing!

This is Jen. She almost DIED last Spring. I'm not being dramatic either, there was BRAIN SURGERY involved.

She's an amazing friend and mama. Baby Zap LOVES her. When we were on bedrest and after he was home she'd come and cuddle him and keep me company. Not long after that she was in intensive care with a bleeding brain. So scary.

Zap says, "It's all good now! I got the cuddles!"

Yes, it is all good.

The kids were good sports about being in the car all day. From the backseat I could hear them concocting plot lines for episodes of She-Ra, "FOR THE HONOUR OF GREYSKULL! I HAVE THE POWER!" Blueberry Girl decided her power sword saves dino-dragons because she is a dino-hero-saurus.....

We had quite the weekend here at the farm. Remember the flour incident of 2010? The girls still have to have their hair deep conditioned weekly from the damage that the flour caused....well, not anymore. Daddy was "watching" them play outside. He was changing the oil.......and they found the cone filter "hat" irresistible. Let's just say they have VERY conditioned hair even after 3 washings. Thanks dad.

The heat wave continues. Heat index still in the 100's. Chad had a minor accident with the tractor, a part wasn't attached and when he went to attach it, the implement pinned him. The motor was running so we couldn't hear him screaming. He's fine, not a scratch. Still freaked me out and Chad got an angry lecture about farm safety and adding insult to injury, I am blogging about it. Sorry Chad! Following our scare last week with Lily......oh my. I better blog that too.

From Farm to Fork....

2011-07-24T16:09:00.000-05:00

This year we decided to raise meat birds for customers and have them processed at a USDA butcher. We chose Poulet Rouge, naked neck chickens, which we got from a local hatchery, Foxhollow Poultry Farm. We raised the chicks in an old stock tank and when they were big enough they moved to a fenced pasture.

This breed isn't pretty, kind of looks like a dino/turkey cross. The processor called them Turckens. Speaking of which, he said that these birds, unlike most heritage chickens he's processed, appeared to be firm and tender. He said it might actually be a good alternative to a cornish cross. Oh yeah.

So basically, Chad wrangled up the chickens the night before and loaded them into our livestock trailer. The he got up at dawn, did chores and drove 3.5 hours to the Nebraska border with the chickens. Whoo! In a truck with a not working very well AC. The problematic AC is why we didn't go with him on a family adventure.

So then he called and said everything was late and he would be an hour late to the drop. Some customers didn't provide phone numbers and all I know them from is FACEBOOK! Ack! So I loaded up the kiddo and drove an hour and a half to the drop to meet people, take their addresses and promise home delivery. THEN Chad was held up even more by the storms and a massive traffic accident on I-80! Good thing I left when I did because I was 10 minutes late to the drop.

We split the deliveries and I took central metro and Norwalk while he took Altoona. We sold out the day before just by posting on FaceBook. When we got home we right away put one in the oven to roast. At 9pm we all sat down to dinner. Oh my was it amazing. Totally worth it.

The whole experience really drives home to us why we have personal relationships with our customers. Why we meet them face to face and they can ask questions and we can answer them, share tips, and talk about our farm.

Talking about our farm reminds us of how good we really have it. Thank you all!

Playing Around Portraits

2011-07-23T21:54:00.000-05:00

Heat Wave......

2011-07-23T00:33:00.002-05:00

Heat index will be and probably is as I am writing this in the 110-120 range here in Iowa this week.

My husband is prone to heat stroke. He's been hospitalized for it once (even if he claims it was food poisoning.....it wasn't). Still he insists on drinking soda in the heat or when he's doing hard labor or both. He's the smartest man I know except when it comes to this. Everytime I start to explain that soda pop actually leaches important minerals and couple that with the excreting of minerals through sweat and you got a whole mess of trouble.

If he won't listen to me say the words, at least I can document it here:

What is heat stroke?

"How can dehydration be prevented?
Take precautionary measures to avoid the harmful effects of dehydration, including:

Drink plenty of fluids, especially when working or playing in the sun.
Make sure you are taking in more fluid than you are losing.
Try to schedule physical outdoor activities for the cooler parts of the day.
Drink appropriate sports drinks to help maintain electrolyte balance.
For infants and young children, solutions like Pedialyte will help maintain electrolyte balance during illness or heat exposure. Do not try to make fluid and salt solutions at home for children."

Yikes. Oh there's more. Here:

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1742-7843.2007.00053.x/abstract;jsessionid=E6048CB10B8230E2340632FA7161977F.d03t02

and here:

http://ajph.aphapublications.org/cgi/content/full/97/4/667?view=long&pmid=17329656

So, please be smart in the heat. Make good choices and stay hydrated.

Merciless cute kid photos to drive my point home. :)

Cinderella

2011-07-16T23:56:00.000-05:00

The Missoula Children's Theatre came to town and did a one week long intensive theatre camp. We heard about it on Saturday, the auditions were Monday morning, and the performance on Friday. So basically the kids had 4 days to learn the script, the music, and the choreography for a musical called Cinderella.

And they did it, they did it well.

Presenting, Lil'Bug's stage debut!

A rare photo of Mama.... waiting for the lights. Blueberry Girl was really jealous and several times this week marched p to the director and demanded to be included. Alas, she is too young and will have to wait. She was Lil'Bug's biggest fan though and her encouragement and enthusiasm could be heard throughout Chariton.

Lil;Bug was really nervous. Four days isn't a lot of time to remember all the cool moves and song lyrics!

She was front row pumpkin girl.

Deep in thought. There was some drama back stage......see? Real life happens outside of school too.

The older kids in the cast were awesome. They took to Lily and were sweet to her and the little kids. They did an amazing job with their parts too.

My sweet pumpkin.

My sweetie pie.

The Spring Fed Creek and a Strange Girl Named Emily

2011-07-16T00:09:00.001-05:00

We have 10 acres in the wooded part of our farm, to the East of the 8 acre pond. That pond is a man made water body where a Spring fed creek was dammed off. The excess water from the pond, the drain that allows the level to stay the same, puts the water back into the creek path on the other side of the dam. So the creek, through small most of the time, meanders through our woods and eventually through several other farms, feeding into the Chariton River and Lake Red Haw.

We rarely go to that part of our farm because where the water drains is a very deep hole and the creek water can be wide and fast. Our kids are too little to safely explore there even with us so mostly that area is left to itself.

Chad and Lil'Bug took a long explore the other day to document it. So here it is, from the bee path all the way to the underpass where the creek leaves our farm under the road.

Lil'Bug came home and insisted her name was Emily and we found her in the creek bed, sleeping. She insisted I label this post, "The Finding of Emily" and so it is.

More on Structure

2011-06-30T13:58:00.000-05:00

So I was thinking, what prompted the suggestions for structure was actually a really bad day we had here. Actually, it wasn't all that special as far as parenting goes- every kid has a day like this. Lil'Bug went all sorts of nuts and drew on walls (so did Blueberry Girl), CUT my new curtains, painted on a chair, and generally threw lots of tantrums. It was the day after a really bad storm smashed up the new playhouse the girls had built with their grandpa and took several healthy limbs out of trees all over the farm.

Perhaps it was reaction to the storm? I made a point of engaging Lil'Bug a couple days later while playing chess and asking her.

She overheard some very adult conversations about 22q11 (the anomaly that Zap was born with) and was afraid that he is going to die. Then she overheard us wondering if one of us has it too, since it can be inherited and she was afraid that we might die too. What incredibly big fears to struggle with! No wonder she was working hard to redirect with art mediums! I do that too, but when I do art it is considered ok, because they are my curtains or my chairs and walls to paint on. She doesn't understand ownership and only knows by example. That makes sense. We talked through it. I doubt it will be the last conversation or the end of her fears.

The doctors appointments threw off our regular structure and that broke up our normal routine and caused me a lot of stress. She felt that. SHE was able to process it more than I was at the time. Quite honestly, she wrote "1 love you" and "I <3 U" all over everything. Love letters to mama.

Every kid has bad days and bad behaviour. Finding the actual cause and addressing that is more effective than punishing with busy work and calling it structure. Just more of my thoughts.

Structure Verses Flow

2011-06-29T00:04:00.002-05:00

Lately people keep telling me I need more structure to my day. That bothers me, not because it is true but because it is so beyond not true that it borders on ridiculous. Why?

Our days are very structured, just not by the clock or a bell.

We wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast. Usually around 7, sometimes earlier and sometimes later.

Then we turn on music and dance. After that we pick up the downstairs in a quick tidy and decide which big chore each will do. Then we do it.

Usually there is time after for play outside or upstairs or art project. Depends on the weather.

Then we all make lunch together, unless whatever game is being played is way too fun. If that's the case, I make lunch.

We eat it, then clean up.

Outside or upstairs and upstairs goes the downstairs laundry pile. Sometimes we have to run errands and this happens after lunch.

If at any point anyone gets so muddy they are uncomfortable, a bath is taken. While bath is run we tidy the bathroom and I start a load of laundry.

If at any point someone wants to be read to, we drop everything and read.

Eggs get collected in the afternoon, snack at some point, sometimes we have friends over.

Dad calls and lets us know he's leaving work. We start making dinner so it is ready when he gets home.

By then the girls want a movie so they tidy up the living room again so I can get to the TV (or that's my story to encourage clean up. I won't step on toys to put in a DVD and a "path" will not do.....).

Dinner, then more play and one girl helps with dinner dishes. Bedtime involves teeth brushing and feeding pets. Usually between 8 or 9, but often Holly goes to bed earlier. Each girl initiates bed time for herself on her own.

How is that not structured? Just because we let the day flow does not mean it lacks structure. I make time for structured activities like baking cookies or doing science experiments but most of those are opportunities as they arise. For example, we were making cheese and the girls remembered something they heard about salt and lemons fooling the taste buds into thinking it tasted sweet like sugar- so we tried it. It worked! When we walk the woods together we take paper and colours and draw or write. I may not buy or create detailed projects or lapbooks, but we do a LOT of structured activity just living on a farm and sometimes that means looking at a clock once in a while. But we also have some flexibility.

I guess what I am saying is that just because my school house isn't a big concrete box with a symmetrical floor plan and rooms you'd expect, doesn't mean our foundation is weak or that the building isn't strong. No, it just means that our structure is not like everyone else's and we live in that landscape. In architecture it would be more like a town, you have the suburbs, the schools, and the old district and that's where most people live and learn. We aren't like that either. We're a farm. We're a funky farm house with crazy curtains and roaming chickens. We have music playing and art always out and immerse ourselves in books and nature and anything else we get curious about. For you Harry Potter fans- I aspire to be like Molly Weasley to have a home full of love and laughter.

As I was writing this I realized....we were making cheese. Most people have to buy a kit or plan a day as do this as a structured science or home ec project. We HAVE to do it every other day or the milk gets wasted. It's fun and it's tasty and the girls know how to do it by learning right along side of me. They saw animals giving birth and helped with after care of the newborns, they help when animals are injured, they help with daily care. They help cook, shop, and meet with customers. They help clean, repair, and decorate our home. They do this every day because it is part of our life. It is structured because life is.

Anyway, just some thoughts. :)

Ladies in Waiting Plus a Baby.....

2011-06-11T23:37:00.000-05:00

Zinnia

2011-05-20T18:53:00.002-05:00

New Normal, the horizon compass

2011-05-17T18:44:00.001-05:00

Before last week I had never heard of 22q11 deletion syndrome. Before you click on the link, like I did when I was first told my baby son has it, let me say that he does not have the worst of it.

Ever since he was born I have been at odds with our family doctor who sent us on to specialists and more specialists. None of them could see anything wrong with baby Zap other than that he is little and was gaining weight slow. We had a latch problem that a local lactation consultant found and we corrected with work. His soft spot closed, but the CAT scan showed that it wasn't fused and ok. The first round of tests came back all normal. He's deaf in one ear, but so was Chad as a baby so I don't see this as a big deal. Other than that, he was passing all the development tests and yet, the neurologist wanted to double check something so he ordered a series of blood tests.

Then. Then the doctor calls me himself. I was used to hearing good news from his nurse. I missed the call and spent two frantic days playing phone tag. We got him on the phone and he said 22q11. It's not even a name, it is a description.

It explains his deafness. It explains his soft spot closing early. It explains his slow growth. There might be motor skill delays. There might be speech issues. His heart seems fine, but they may run tests to make sure. His kidneys seem fine, but they may run tests to be sure. His immune system fared a bout of Influenza B better than his sisters even, so that seems ok too. His palate seems normal too. Heart and palate problems are the recognizable symptoms for kids with 22q11 and yet, he doesn't seem to have those issues.

We don't know what to expect. Our family physician had never heard of this before, or never had a patient with it, so he's researching it just like we are. I'm coordinating care between him and the two specialists and making sure overapping orders for vitamins or medicines are ok'd. We see a geneticist later this year. My head is still wrapping around this mostly because, well, because Zap is still a healthy little bright eyed baby boy. He's chatty and robust and funny. He's eating well and gaining well and loves to pet the kitty and have his sisters hug and kiss him. He's totally normal.

And yet, this genetic thing, this deletion answers so many questions. This answer has eased those doctors off pressuring me to feed him formula or vaccinate with live virus (22q's have different response to vaccinations so we need to learn more about that before we go that route). Getting this scary sounding diagnosis has let my mind ease up from defensive mode and just enjoy my sweet little baby.

We'll let this unfold as it does and we'll help him whenever something comes up. Next up is a visit to the ENT docs to see abut his ears. Just like his father, the deafness can likely be mostly corrected by surgery.

So how am I feeling about all of this? Looking from the pictures of kids with 22q11 and then back at my little boy, there is hope. There's a decent online network. I have friends who have kids that have different needs too and they have been a huge support this past week. Teary phone calls and medical glossaries have dominated my days. I wonder if I can handle this much medical professional interaction. I hate hospitals and blood draws and the knee jerk reactions to medicate instead of change lifestyle and suddenly I am right there on the front line with my baby to offer up. I don't like it, but it is where we are.

Also, a thought on comments. Why? In telling friends and family I have heard a range of responses three of which make me want to punch someone in the face: "I'm so sorry" and "I don't know what to say" and the one that was not to my face, "you just told me that to make me feel bad." So let's be clear, this diagnoses is not a death sentence. It's like having red hair or an extra toe, it is a genetic set of programing that may involve a few extra doctor's visits. It is not something we are sorry about. Second, I told people because they asked before we were ready to really put this out there. I don't know what they were expecting. Hey, did you get the results back? Um, yes, this. !!!!! Really? And the last, well, that person is just like that and we love her anyway, difficult as that may be. I just do not want more of that here. I don't go around saying, "Gee I'm sorry your kid is a pain in the butt." or, "I'm sorry your kid has pretty hair." You get the idea? Please. I hope. Everyone I have spoken to has been well meaning and full of love, but those words still hurt. The best response was, "Thanks for sharing that. We've been worried. Lots of love to you." Yes. Better.

One more thought. This past week has been tremendous in my thoughts, the way my mind has explored and researched and I keep coming back to the imagery of rural Colorado as a kid. Always to the west we saw the Rocky Mountain Range. Where we lived was dessert like, but we could always see the mountains in the distance. As a kid I was convinced I could walk there, run away to there, that it was just beyond but still a real possibility and a longing. Motherhood was like this. I could always see normal, see what I was striving for. But, the reality of it is the same. Those mountains are unattainable in a days hike. When I moved to the Midwest as a preteen, first Illinois and then Iowa, I lost that anchoring compass. I searched for replacement and always felt a little lost and disoriented. Since all horizons looked the same I had to be present in the place to feel grounded and solid. Being present, everyday appreciating the green and life and wonder and specialness of each place and moment, is hard. It's easier to daydream about that distant mountain range. Way easier. The thing is though, that time spent daydreaming is time lost that could be filled with laughter and cuddles and fresh picked strawberries.

This diagnosis is not a death sentence. Oh, did I already say that? I meant it. It's doesn't even really change who we are and how we will live. A few extra road trips, a closer relationship with our local doctor and nurses, and a little more time feeling utterly blessed by God for the life we live. Even if that time is spent on the road driving to distant cities to see specialists, it's time we'll spend together.

This diagnosis is just a label. It doesn't suddenly change who my son is, it simply gives the worried doctors a label to slap on the file and a reference to turn to if results seem off. Normal for everyone else isn't normal for Zap. That's kind of who we are anyway. I mean, if you've ever met us in real life or have been reading here for any amount of time, that's no surprise. So the test result was actually a relief in a way in that now he gets to just be.

If something goes wrong, we'll let you know. Prayers are always welcome. Right now we're good to go.

Ps. If anyone stumbles across this and knows more about 22q11, please feel free to comment, link, offer resources, ect. We're new to this.

Bianca's Ram Lamb

2011-05-10T15:11:00.003-05:00

More Baby Pictures and a story

2011-05-04T21:10:00.000-05:00

Today was a crappy day. I was on the phone with the bank when Blueberry Girl stripped down and pooped on the couch. I was cleaning that when someone knocked on the door delivering frustrating news. Dealing with that when I missed a call from Isaac's doctor. I left the meat on the counter to thaw yesterday the forgot about it and found it today spoiled. The cats decided to decorate the back step with their gift (a dead muskrat)....and it kept on like this. Then a friend visited and that was nice. When Chad come home though and it was time to run Lil'Bug to church for youth group, I was fried. Chad said Poppy looked like she was in labour and I jumped at the chance to take a walk and check on her.

I grabbed my camera.

She greeted me and I pet her nose. I asked her if it was really time and she turned around and showed me her backside. Then she laid down.....

Then I got to see something I've never seen before live.

That's right. Not even one of my three children. Yes, that makes me really sad when I think about it.

I was a little scared at first. The lamb was just laying there. Then Poppy started licking her face.

And soon she was up and nursing. And wobbling around. No name yet.

Poppy is the matriarch of our flock. She's not the oldest but she's an aggressive eater and leader.

And she's a really good mama. We have 4 ewe lambs now. 3 of them are white with masks and spots.

Baby Pictures

2011-05-04T19:00:00.000-05:00

Cream Puff brought me her lamb, Miss Nickle, for photo. So proud!

Here's the princess and her maaaaaaaa.

Surprise! Twins! This is Flurry and her lambs Cardigan (the black lamb) and we haven't named the little white ewe.

She's not all white, She has the mask! These lambs are little!

More updates soon.....

So Does This Mean My Brother Can Come Home Now?

2011-05-03T22:49:00.000-05:00

No.

I was just noticing that these last few days there has been a lot of chatter on facebook but not so much on the blogs I read. Not even the ones I expected to have something to say about it.

Bin Laden is dead. Seal Team 6 killed him.

This happened in Pakistan, just over the border from Afgahnistan where my baby brother is deployed. Spring is the most dangerous time he said.

So now what? More death and more violence and more rebuilding and more celebrating and more...?
He wrote this on his wall today,

"The human condition is far too complicated for any one world view or over simplified answer. there is nothing that is always the answer not love not hate not pacifism not violence. Any emotion can be positive or negative if felt for the right reason. The belief that any feeling is inhearently bad is the real problem. All of our emotions exist for a reason and this includes hate and fear."

My prayers lately are for him to come home to his wife and daughter and Iowa, but I also know he is doing a lot of good helping rebuild the region he is stationed in. That good will spread.

So while some people may be celebrating and others mourning and even others astonished at the celebration and more scared, all of these are a valid reaction and have a personal meaning. All are authentic. In thinking about this today, I had a moment of silence for all of the death that has happened around the world, all the loss, all the rebirth that will come of it. I'm hopeful that the world my children inherit will be one of peace and health. I hope the same for Bin Laden's children.

This I do know. I do know that we are a very blessed and privilaged America. I know that food is plentiful and my children have so many toys that they have to sometimes bag them up for charity to make room for more. I hope that they will always have enough to keep them warm. I know that on the other side of the world there are families who live, actually sleep, on top of municipal trash heaps. The freedom my brother fights for is one of comfort and security and he's fighting not only for us to keep ours but for others to be lifted out of poverty and suffering and into that freedom. Yes, there is suffereing and poverty right here in Iowa too, but there is at least a chance that folks can pull out of it. We don't have to worry about roadside bombs while heading to the gas station or to the grocery store. The world is getting smaller though and each time it shrinks, it pulls all the good and bad closer together.

Just rambling thoughts here as I ingest all of the news. I know, it's not like me to ramble blogside.

Our Day in Pictures, minus cleaning toilets....but we did that too.

2011-05-02T14:51:00.000-05:00

Counting Sheep

2011-04-29T23:04:00.001-05:00

It was too windy to work the strawberries so we took a walk out to the pasture with our guest and her son.......there was some concern over one of the ewes who was laying on her side.

No worries. She got up when Chad approached......

But wait. Oh my. There are hooves coming out of......yes. Oh yay! She's having her lamb!

We backed off and gave her some space. SEE THE HOOVES!! We headed, with all the children, back to the house to give her some time and quiet. Chad looked up how long labour should last and headed right back out only to find.....

This little lamb ewe! Oh she's cute.

She's also hungry!

So far so good!

Oh, I am soooo glad she's a ewe. That means we won't eat her! It was really amazing to get to see the labour and the lamb this afternoon. I am so glad there were no complications, so far. Really this past month has been a doozy. I guess April really does go out like a lamb? Or is that March? :)

Easter Flowers

2011-04-26T23:16:00.000-05:00

We had a lovely Easter. :)

Menu Plan for the Week

2011-04-11T11:29:00.000-05:00

Here's Our menu plan for the week, with notations for leftovers and lunches. I think I will start making Chad breakfast too since I have to get up with him anyway to move Rosie.

Monday: Roasted Chicken, mashed potatoes, brussle sprouts
lunch and breakfast: Cheese noodles with chopped ham, oatmeal

Tuesday: Chicken Potpie with vegetable medley
lunch for Chad: chicken and bean handpies with mexican cheese blend
lunch/breakfast: Ponyo noodles with mushroom/eggs and toast

Wednesday: Pulled Pork sandwiches with pumpkin soup
lunch for Chad: pot pie
lunch here: veggies and dip with bacon
breakfast: eggs and bacon

Thursday on the Go:
Breakfast Eggs and Bacon
Lunch: Ham, veggies, cheese, crackers
Dinner.....meet up as a family and decide. Maybe homemade pizza since I'll have it all ready to assemble
IF Chad works from home then we'll have steaks.

Friday: Baked Salmon- never made this before, thinking and augratin side dish and green beans.
Lunch: Almond Butter and peach jam "tacos"....unless we have guests. In that case we'll make veggie stir fry and Ponyo Noodles with beef broth and ham and boiled eggs.
Breakfast: Eggs and Salsa and Biscuits and Gravy

Saturday: HUGE work day at the farm. If the weather is nice, Iowa Chops on the grill, home fries, and mushroom and veggie kabobs.
Breakfast: Pancakes and eggs
lunch, on the go

All is subject to change, btw

Meet Rosie, Our Family Cow

2011-04-10T20:17:00.000-05:00

This is Rosie, a pure bred Brown Swiss milk cow. She's been bred to a Simital bull and will calve in about 3 weeks. In the corner of this picture is her calf from last year, bred to that same bull. I think she was sad to leave him.

She's big, but sweet. I won't say gentle just yet as she's beat Chad up a bit. He'll be limping for a while and is lucky to still have a arm. Bright side, I now know how to open the livestock trailer door properly. Oops. More updates later.

March Was CRAZY Busy Part 5, the final montage

2011-04-09T23:52:00.001-05:00

Even more happened in February and March. More than I caught on film or recorded. It was just amazingly busy. The kids also got the flu, the variety that is super high fever that lasts for 5-7 days. Their fevers were middling though, only 99-101. Totally manageable, thank God.

Anyway, here's a few of the moments from March......

Baby IE, we have yet to come up with a clever blog name for Aunt Bee's precious bundle.

Not sure she gets the whole "cousin" thing. She was pretty confused about there being two "Baby Zaps". (she thought both were her baby brother.....) It was weird actually. The babies DO look a lot alike. Actually Baby IE looks JUST like Lil'Bug when she was a wee babe.

Aunt Bee was tired. Baby IE spent her first few days in the NICU.

Soooooooo CUTE.

Baby Zap at church. His arms are so FAST or my camera was on the wrong setting. I vote for fast baby arms. It's cooler.

Tea party princesses. In Blueberry Girl's hands is Little Baby. Little Baby was lost in Chariton for about 3 days. A search party found her and returned her before we had to put up missing signs. Yes, we were almost to that point of desperation. Little Baby is very loved.

Zap. Chilling. He sits here while I work in the kitchen and he TALKS or baby chatters to me/at me the whole time.

Lil'Bug's new favourite dress. It has super deep practical pockets.

Family work day. We went out to check on piglets.

Even the cat came with us.

March Was CRAZY Busy Part 4, NLE

2011-04-08T13:12:00.001-05:00

Our booth at the Natural Living Expo.

Grampa with Baby Zap, maybe he's explaining why babies are not an item for the recycle bin?

We decided to spend our small bit of money for marketing on a booth at this expo. First, I've been attending this expo as a consumer since year 1 and second, what an amazing idea Tanya had way back when to get all these local businesses together under one expo and connect people! She doesn't run it anymore, but still, I am glad someone is carrying on the torch and keeping this event going. One of the things I love about Des Moines and Iowa is all the people with good ideas and motivation to make things happen AND the temperament to keep the ball rolling even when it becomes someone else's turn with that ball. :) I really liked working with these folks and the expo was busy both days with local musicians, classes, and constant foot traffic to our booth. Bonus, I met several other farmers who are doing the same thing we are and we got to talk shop.

March Was CRAZY Busy Part 3: Something Fishy

2011-04-07T13:34:00.001-05:00

Spring on the farm. I never thought I'd see huge round bales on our farm, but there you have it.

This was something Blueberry Girl and Chad did as a Daddy Daughter task (Grampa took pictures).

Grass Carp and catfish. Mmmmm, catfish.

Last winter, winter 2009/2010, we had heavy snow fall and cover and we lost a large amount of whale sized grass carp. Ok, maybe not whale sized, but pretty big. One of the dead fish carcasses was 6 ft long. Yes, carcass. When the dead fish is THAT big it's a carcass. Anyway, losing that many large grass carp was bad for the pond and last summer we saw the affects of the fish kill. This winter we had next to no fish kill at all, but we decided to stock the pond and get a good start.

The dock and the kids used to make me nervous. When we first moved here I fell through one of the boards and was stuck up to my hip, baby on my back, and camera held high. It's had some repair but mostly I think we've just all gotten used to its weaknesses and strengths and navigate its structure more deftly.

Managing the pond ecology is one of the biggest responsibilities we have to our land and farm, but we get so much enjoyment from having this amazing resource right in our backyard. Yes, this IS our backyard. Wow. Every time I look at it, breathe the fresh country air, I praise God for our many blessings.

March Was CRAZY Busy Part 2

2011-04-06T21:24:00.001-05:00

My gorgeous and very talented sister in law Aunt J. Not only does she play the piano, but she is a master of its construction. I had a pedal that never worked and a few keys sticking. I blamed the girls dancing on it last week and I was wrong! Turns out that pianos need to be regularly opened and vacuumed out. It's on the yearly cleaning task list now.

Very dusty. Some of the keys were broken too, on the inside where I never looked. A little bit of super glue and a lot of cleaning fixed all of that.

The heart and guts of the instrument. Of course this fascinated Blueberry Girl and she couldn't and wouldn't keep her hands off things. She ended up tearing some of the felt off of parts.

I loved that my SIL did this for us. It didn't take long and made a huge difference in how the girls treat the piano and how they play it now. Love love love love. (Four loves in honour of my little bro's childhood obsession with the number four....;)....)

This Little Piggy ran all the way home.....

2011-04-04T14:40:00.000-05:00

Our first round of pigs arrived at the farm on Sunday. Our customers know that we can only bring home as many pigs as customers have paid deposits, so only 11 pigs have arrived. (eh em, please get me your deposit!) They settled in nicely and have been running and jumping and exploring. Hopefully, they will be joined by another group in about 3 weeks.

March Was CRAZY Busy Part 1

2011-03-25T16:54:00.000-05:00

I'm not kidding when I say we were so busy that I had no time to blog. Sometimes I had time to take pictures, sometimes I'd get a post started, but most of the time I was so busy with living life to sit down and even relax or breathe deep. Sometimes it was a good busy sometimes it was a nightmare of fevers and crying and anxiety. Anyway, I'll catch you all up this week. I don't think I have ever skipped an entire month since I began blogging!

One of the awesome things that happened was my brother was home on leave and brought his family to the farm! Bonus, my aunt traveled from Texas to meet the new babies and see my brother and she came too!

Uncle T. and Baby Zap.

Lil'Bug's tea Part-tay.....

My aunt Deedle, my inspiration and idol. She too moved to a farm in her mid thirties with no experience and made a go at it. She is strong willed and unafraid to try new things. Currently, she owns and operates a B&B in Galveston, TX. It's pink, no less.

Aunt Deedle with Baby Zap.

Even Chad got a turn holding Z., but he had to wait. ;)

Yum yum yum, thumbs.

Seriously, EVERYONE wanted a turn holding Zap.

It was a good visit. :) I hope there are many more.

Maple Lane

2011-03-23T18:30:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately, we may have tapped too late. At least we'll be ready for next year!!!!

1st Park Day of 2011!

2011-02-22T18:37:00.003-06:00

Blueberry Girl loves the swings!

I love park day. I love that we can keep the relationships we have formed over the years, five years now, in the Des Moines homeschooling community even though we have moved an hour away. I love that it happens right after Lil'Bug's art class. I love that this park is so perfect, easily accessible, nice bathrooms, variety of play opportunities and sand (I hate mulched playgrounds; I'll take sandy pants and socks over splinters any day), and I love the freedom.

Baby Zap had never sat in the sunshine outside before. He wasn't sure what to think.

I notice that sometimes they play on the equipment, but so many more times they play in the trees and run around the grassy field. There is room to play. If someone they are not getting along with is there, there is room to move along and play something else. There is also a variety of cultures that meet. The casual exposure creates questions and learning about how each family lives, without the pretense of show and tell.

Playing.

We keep going and it has not been easy. We almost quit after a teenage bully, also a homeschooler, started targeting 6 year old girls....but we worked through that and in a way that left Lil'Bug and her friends feeling empowered and infused with a dose of empathy and kindness. It also demonstrated to Lil'Bug my trust in her, which happens in little noticed little ways everyday but when tested in a big way held up.

More playing.

It is nice to also have moral support for how we live. Homeschooling is a lifestyle and not many people outside the homeschooling circles actually get that. I have for the last 6 years so surrounded myself with people who do get it, that I forget how alien, misunderstood, misrepresented our lifestyle choice can be and what expectations are placed on us as such. Lately, that pressure has been exponential and having a safe place where people get us is really a quiet relief.

The view from the camera falling, luckily the only thing that seems broken is the UV lens.

Only one other family made it to this first, glorious park day of the year. It was unexpectedly 70 degrees, not windy, sunshine, and not terribly muddy. It's Iowa, it may not be that perfect again until May! Ha. A perfect day for Baby Zap to have his first park day, and for the girls to run off some winter blahs. At 4 pm they didn't want to load up and that's when the camera was "moved" out of the car and onto the parking. All is well though. I think.

Farm Work Day: Status of the Flock

2011-02-21T11:33:00.000-06:00

Marshmallow. Not pregnant or not far enough along to see in ultrasound. Was exposed to ram for a very short time in the last 6 weeks, so we will recheck in a month, maybe two. She was injured in the dog attack in late December/early January but has recovered really well.

Male llama, intact. Not yet named. In my mind I call the two of them, Brothers Dmitri and Ivan.

Flurry - a cinnamon (phaeomelanin) coloured unregistered Icelandic ewe with a poor bite (her teeth don't match up to her upper palate) but she had a lamb with no mouth problems. She is 3-4 years old. We call her Cinnamon. She is pregnant. Was injured in the round up today, cut her lip, but she should be fine.

Bianca - a white unregistered full Icelandic ewe, probably about 4-5 years old. Thought this one was MB, but her name is now Wether-NOT. Lily thought that was silly so we'll call her Lady Bianca. She IS with lamb.

Buttercup Not pregnant. Healed from dog attack. Her injury didn't even bring her into the house. Was exposed to the ram only briefly - we didn't want her to lamb this year since she had so much trouble with her *5* lambs last year.

Cream Puff - white ewe, Poppy's daughter of last year, sired by Blizzard (before he was wethered) so she is 50% Icelandic and then has the Rambouillet/Suffok/Dorset mix genes. Her ears have tan coloured tips. She would probably throw coloured lambs, is not pregnant.

2nd male llama.

Mary. Leg injury from dog attack. Not pregnant.......because she's a he? Just checked the records and it seems that the white lamb that came with Marshmallow is actually a ram/wether lamb not a ewe. Which means the lamb we lost last week, Wilbur, that we thought was a wether, was actually a ewe? Think we'll change his name to MerryWether. Odd thing is, the vet didn't notice he is a she is a he?

(born 3/29/08) Poppy -Peeking up behind the whether in the front of the picture. A great mother - Rambouillet/Suffolk/Dorset mix ewe, Poppy is pregnant.

Blizzard - a white unregistered full Icelandic wether, well tempered, probably also about 4-5 years old.

Ferdinand - a black Shetland wether who is a real love-bug. He is second only to Poppy in affection and kid friendly interaction.

Dolly. Has been exposed for 6 weeks. Not far enough along to detect if she is pregnant. Would be due in November. Dark brown and white female, registered, mother of Stormy. Not extremely approachable but tolerates shearing.

There is also another wether, a white icelanic, but I didn't get pictures of him. There is one more ewe who is pregnant too. Again, I missed getting her picture and do not have name confirmation on her. We really, really need Claire to come for a visit and help us get these names straight! :)

Farm Work Day: Bellies

2011-02-19T12:55:00.001-06:00

Mostly this series of posts is to log pictures for our own records. I'll do a long one with each sheep's status later today, we have 4 ewes with lamb in my field notes, we verified the identity of the wether that the coyote killed in December, and we know that Buttercup and Marshmallow are not with lamb (which is intentional).

Farm Work Day: Lovely Childhood

2011-02-19T12:14:00.000-06:00

I somehow captured this smile while documenting the vet in the pasture. Blueberry Girl ran up beside me and said, "Here I is! Smile!" I love, love, love the moments of sheer windblown happiness on the farm.

Blizzard 2011 Feburary First

2011-02-11T21:42:00.000-06:00

So this month, I got to sit and read everyone enjoying the snow days with a heavy heart. Sure, we were at times curled up with a roaring fire in the wood stove, venison roast slow cooking, and homemade cherry sodas and hot cocoa....but the rest of the time Chad was outside doing regular chores in 40mph gusting (-60 windchills) winds, ice dagger snow, below zero temps and even colder wind chills.

So here are my neglected blizzard/winter updates.

Pipes freezing. Last year I couldn't leave the house if it was in the teens or below because the water had to be run every hour to keep pipes from freezing. This year Chad insulated the pipes going upstairs, set a timer on the basement faucet to run the water automatically every so many hours, and changed some stuff around. We've had outside temperatures in the NEGATIVE twenties and teens and been ok. Only a few times did the upstairs and laundry room cold water pipes freeze and once the wind froze the hot water heater (a tankless). Just once. Mostly I can leave the house without worrying about it, but with the baby it is not likely that I will leave the house when it is that cold anyway. You know?

Keeping the wood stove going is easy during the day. At night Chad gets up every 3 hours and tends it. The way he does it burns more wood than the way I manage it during the day, but that's mostly so he can sleep. We grossly underestimated the amount of wood needed, but even since purchasing the wood, we have saved money in heating PLUS we are actually comfortable and can heat the downstairs to 70 degrees. Last year it was a good day if we could keep it at 60 and the girls and I spent a lot of time upstairs where the furnace actually worked, which was ok since I had to constantly do laundry to keep water going through the pipes so they wouldn't freeze. This winter I have only needed to do laundry once a week. :)

Our chickens stop laying in the winter. We don't give them supplemental light. I know its not efficient and our customers really want our eggs, but I like the idea of giving the ladies a seasonal break. They have started laying again now that the days are getting longer. They fared the cold well, we also don't have supplemental heat in their coop, but we use deep bedding. They do get heated water though.

When the blizzard and dangerous cold hit our farm we still had two sheep in the "med shed". Basically Chad rigged up a livestock trailer with deep bedding for them to be close to the house. Paddington was still healing from the amazingly gory and horrific wound from the dog attack. He was doing well and was about to be renamed Rasputin since we'd seen him come back from the brink of death so many times. Suddenly he was comatose and two days later he died at the vet's. We also lost our ram, who was perfectly healthy. We had post mortem done on both and showed that they were eating well and had few parasites and good muscle tone and healthy organs. The official cause of death was "severe cold". The idea has been put out that maybe our hay quality did not match up with our mineral supplements. So we are crash course learning about soil/grass deficiencies and sheep nutrition. We had a couple ewes start showing signs of lethargy like the ram did and so we were proactive and gave them vitamin shots. So far, so good. Lucky for us that we planned our lambing to be late Spring and we have lots of time to figure this out. Our next batch of hay will be tested and we can match the supplements with its deficiencies for a more exact nutrition. Good can come of bad.....

Our dogs are outside dogs. Even in the cold. We tried to, and did, bring in Lucy when the winds were bad, but she hated it. Coming in to the super warm house isn't actually good for her. We had sure she had unfrozen water to drink and deep bedded shelter and she was fine and happy. I also fed her fatty meats. The high fat content helps her keep her body warm. Hobbit is old and comes inside gladly.

The kids love the snow and hated the sub zero weather because mean old mama kept them inside in the dangerous temperatures. They survived it by climbing the walls, jumping on everything and everyone, I let them trace out the foliage mural on their room wall, and when things got mean I made them do chores. Ha. Actually, the floors are quite clean as a result.

Some things I never thought I'd have to do as a farmer. This week I had to explain to the grocery clerk that yes, I was loading my groceries on to my two year and six year old's laps because the bags of chicken food were taking up the empty seats and floor space in my full size pick up....and they were there because the vet did the post mortem in the truck bed and the dead sheep were still back there (we were just driving home from that and it's not like I could unload them anyway....).....and the grocery clerk wasn't even phased. Farm life. You know? Also, in the last month I have learned a lot more about livestock vet science then I thought about previously.

So, that's how we have weathered this last round of weather. About 30 minutes prior to writing this post I was Googling Iowa Girls Basketball Tournament dates. Why? Because the last big blizzard of the season is always that week in March. Always. Then it snows again in April at least once randomly. So, this years tourney storm? First week in March. Looking that up was a turning point. I think I am officially, after living here for 16 years, an Iowan. Right?

Clementine Betrayal

2011-02-02T12:22:00.000-06:00

So following the last post, I feel inclined to disclose the Clementine incident.

So, background....if I buy 1 bag of Clementines they all get eaten the first and second day. If I buy two bags of them, then they all get eat the first and second day. Now, I love Clementines, so I understand. So this last time I squirreled away about 10 for myself. I thought I would stealthily indulge on afternoon.....

and I was caught. The look was one of shock. Followed by silence. Then...

"Mom, what is that?"

me: "A Clementine."

"MOM HAS AN ORANGE!!!!!!!"

me: "Hey. Yes. I do."

"YOU SAID WE WERE OUT BECAUSE WE ATE THEM ALL!"

me: "Yes, you ate yours. These are mine."

"YOU LIED!"

me: "No?"

"WE ARE SUPPOSED TO SHARE THE FRUIT."

me: "Yes. And you didn't share with me. So I set these aside."

"BETRAYER!"

Silence.

More silence.

Ever since I have not gone alone into the kitchen. They are quick footed. When we replenished supply, the new pattern is that they get out 3 at a time, one for each of them and one for me, which is nice.

Snacks

2011-02-01T14:08:00.001-06:00

Someone recently asked me what we do for snacks around here. We do snacks at will, as in the kids have full access to have them at any time they feel hungry, even 10 minutes right before dinner (though I discourage that by getting them busy helping me with dinner preparations.)

Why? I regulate my own hunger and eat at will. Most adults do, so in raising them to be adults I want to create healthy habits. If healthy snacks are available and they learn to regulate their own hunger, they form good habits. They also take pride in creating pretty presentations and preparing the food for each other. They know they can ask for help at any time too. I also encourage them to drink water, because sometimes thirst pretends it is hunger.

Dried fruit
popcorn (in lard or coconut oil)
crackers
cookies (rare)
frozen fruit
juice
yogurt (Greek)
beef jerky
nuts
peanut or sunflower seed butter sandwiches
hard boiled eggs
fresh fruit
carrots and celery
Popsicles
cheese
chips and salsa
eggrolls

In the summer, full access means they might eat 10 peaches each in a day. You know what? It's peaches, not soda pop, chips, and candy. In the winter, I keep a bucket of apples in the kitchen and they eat at those. Again, it's fruit not junk.

They recently realized that many breakfast foods are included in the snacks so they make their own breakfast too. Later they often ask for a second breakfast (the little Hobbits). Sometimes elevensies. ;)

For car trips, apples and crackers. Easy to pass out and eat and clean up. We will stop and get food while out too. Smoothies are a favourite.

We don't do dessert except for holidays or special occasions. We have blood sugar issues and there tends to be less problems at night if we avoid the idea of dessert after dinner. It also eliminates the child urge to "save room" and not eat dinner. Ha!

Here's the thing. We ALWAYS have ice cream in the freezer. I love ice cream. There is no limit on that treat either. They girls still choose yogurt and fruit and cheese. They also don't feel pressured to "finish" what is on their plate, even dessert items. I wish I could get that kind of control for myself!

Also, I found that if I buy fruit snacks....that's what gets eaten. So I buy the healthy foods. I don't buy the junk if I can help it. I only go to the store every other week so when they run out of something, like clementines, they are gone until next time. At the end, snack time gets creative- that's a good thing!

Winter Fun

2011-01-26T10:33:00.000-06:00

Green Things I Don't Do

2011-01-23T00:38:00.005-06:00

I had an insightful conversation the other day with a friend. The topic was shame really, about not being or doing things "green". This got me thinking that if we wrap ourselves up in the shame of not doing, or do certain things because of what others may think of us, then that is not maintainable. The action will not stick. Nor should we be ashamed of our progress, if we are not quite green homemaker of the year. You know? I make a lot of food from scratch and do a lot of intentionally good for the earth kind of things, so I think sometimes that might intimidate others? But I am not perfect, not a special green mama. So here is my confessional....not perfect indeed!

I don't hang out my laundry. I don't even have a clothes line. If I did, it would be a pain to walk heavy baskets of wet clothes form my second floor laundry room all the way outside. Then there is road dust, bird poop, and all sorts of other factors that just don't appeal to me. For this reason I have opted not to push the issue with my dearest.

I don't enjoy doing dishes by hand. I wish that I did, but I don't. I love <3 love my dishwasher.

I buy the good light bulbs that produce decent light. I hate florescent lights. Not to mention the toxicity of those florescent bulbs once they are done and off to the landfill and our watershed. I won't even pretend that people bother to take them to their stores to be recycled. It just does not happen.

I want to be a responsible person, but the reality of being "green" does not always fit every one's life. Maybe those things will come to me (likely not the light bulbs though) and years from now I will be happily hanging up wet undies with my dishpan hands, just like years ago when I thought I had to microwave food to make it safe to eat and now I don't and will never own one. I'm just not there yet.

It is because of this constantly changing mindset that I have come to understand more and judge less. I am not a lesser person or care less for the earth just because I have decided to opt for an HE dryer so conveniently placed in the room next to where all the clothes get shed and next to the other rooms they get put away. I do a lot more than most people because I can and have opportunity to. I have animals I am raising to eat in open air, I have a body of water in my care, I have children I am raising to care about these things too, and I have access to a life that those children can continue, inherit the earth in real terms.

What does matter is the actual, thoughtful living. I know that I should recycle soda cans even though there is no easy way to do so out here on the farm. I know that hanging laundry is a helpful task, and that doing dishes by hand can save water and money, I choose not to but I know the pros and cons in making that decision. That is different than just ignoring it, being ignorant of it, or just doing what is normal and easy. The choice needs to be mine and mine intrinsically.

Christmas Week in Review part 3...Christmas Day

2011-01-05T05:59:00.000-06:00

Going to church for the Christmas Eve services. All dressed up.

My Blueberry Girl's hair, all princessed up. It was what she picked out. Totally tangle free, that was OUR holiday blessing. :)

She was quite proud of how lovely she looked. Quite loud about it too.

Santa brought them each a formal princess gown. Happiest. Girls. Ever.

Sweet, sweet childhood.

Baby Zap was just happy to be cuddled.

I love best how they share and help each other. I tell them being a princess is more about how kind and generous and grace giving one is than it is about the taffeta and lace.....

Christmas Week in Review part 2...Our First Pasture Predation

2011-01-04T12:01:00.001-06:00

We lost a ewe last week. We think it was to a coyote, but then a couple days later 4-5 sheep were injured all at once. The first 4 we found right away and brought them to the house, the 5th the next day and we are not sure if it was one we missed or if the predator came back.

We learned a lot in that 24 hours.

1) Our first aid kit was insufficient.
2) It is better to keep all vetrenary supplies in one place not in various places.
3) Sheep are amazingly resilient if you can get them out of the initial shock.

and 4): Lil'Bug. Is. Amazing.

The night was a normal mundane night, I sent the girls to bed, tucked them in, and was nursing Baby Zap. Chad went out for chores.

Suddenly he is kicking open the back door and yelling for towels. In his arms, Paddington a brown wether, who was bleeding profusely from his neck.

Lil'Bug jumped out of bed, put on her jeans and boots and appeared in the kitchen, "What can I do mom?"

She held a dishtowl to Paddington's neck wound while I searched for more towels and thought about what to do.

I emailed Lorraine at Hedgeapple Farms. I couldn't find her number anywhere. I thought and thought (quickly).....then I called Lois at Reicharts Dairy Air. She has goats, but in my mind goats and sheep are similar so I called. At 8pm. Lucky for me she was home. She walked me through what supplies I had on hand, dispensed advice, and as I repeated it out loud, Lil'Bug paid rapt attention.

Chad brought the other lambs in one by one, driving each one up from the pasture in the front seat of his car. He was really upset. These lambs were in the pasture with our llama and a full grown wether and should have been protected from coyotes and coyotes don't usually prey in the late afternoon.

As I explained to him that Lois had first aid supplies we needed, he decided to wait for the vet. Confused, I asked him why he thought waiting was a good idea? He didn't think driving 5 hours was a good use of time. Ah, I reminded him I was talking to Lois, not Lorraine. Lois lives 25 miles to the north of us (in farm terms, just up the road). So he decided to go after all.

I was exhausted, the baby strapped to my chest in his Moby wrap, which was getting sopped with pasture mud and blood.

Lil'Bug on the other hand, very much awake, hopped up and started mixing up some honey water. She had heard discussion about trying to get the sheep to drink and decided it would be her job to get them to drink the sweet water. The sheep would not lap it, so she asked for a bottle. Despite having a newborn, we do not have bottles. So I suggested the syringe that we use to squirt water in her ears. She gathered it up and started squirting the fluid into the lambs mouths, gently lifting their heads to her lap one by one.

Each lamb was bleeding and Lil'Bug was covered in blood. Not that she noticed or cared as she tended to them. Winston (lamb wether) and Mary (lamb ewe) were examined. Mary's foot was torn up, possibly broken. Winston had puncture wounds, possibly a neck sprain too. Marshmallow also had neck wounds.

I set the kitchen up so the sheep could not get to the other rooms and moved this and that to make them more comfortable. Chad came home and bandaged and cleaned and gave medicine and Lil and I went to bed.

In the morning, we woke up to Marshmallow (ewe) throwing open the box of hats and gloves by the back door and unloading the contents. We knew she was getting better is she was bored. Ha!

Lil resumed feeding them sweet water and I spent the day cleaning up sheep poo in my kitchen only to have it quickly replaced.

Chad spent the day at home, assessing the pasture, taking Paddington to the vet, and doing first aid on the wounded.

I felt pretty helpless, Baby Zap limiting the amount of help I could be. Lil'Bug really shined though. She's only newly six and had more patience, calm, and clear thinking (more than most adults I know) in a crisis than I think anyone would expect of a child. Yet, here she was, self motivated and directed in a time of need. Not present in her was the girl with a short temper or the child who gets jealous of her sister's toys or of the baby's attention. Here was a responsible, caring, level headed girl doing what needed to be done.

Chad was deflated. Our confidence in sheparding was shaken and these little lambs were the victims of the horrible proof of our inexperience. In our minds it was not the ferral dog that was to blame, nor his teeth, but our own mistakes.

The result: we bought 2 additional llamas. We moved all the sheep together. We buffed up the fences. We bought a bigger...item that takes care of coyotes. We built up our first aid supplies. We learned. None of that makes our pasture predator proof, but maybe just a little less like a giant coyote dinner buffet?

As of the writing of this post, Marshmallow is back in the pasture and the other lambs are on the mend, soon to join the others. Paddington's neck wound is healing and he is finally eating and drinking on his own. Mary (ewe) and Winston are almost ready to go back out too.

And my kitchen floor is clean. CLEAN. It took quite a bit of effort, mind you. I am definitely designing a vet stall into the new kitchen design AND we really need to push up getting a barn. In the meantime, we have some ideas.

Christmas Week in Review part 1...Christmas Eve Day

2011-01-02T19:38:00.000-06:00

Our tree, the girls and Chad picked it out, brought it home, and decorated it. Lily thought it was funny that when they went to pick out the live tree, because someone forgot their coat, they just bought a pre-cut one?).

Early that day, Nala (Lily's kitten) made her way into the walls.

This is how she got in.

Just big enough for a hand to reach in and grab a cat head. She was pretty sick when we got her out, but she's on the mend.


This is what it looked like AFTER the cat was extracted. Wow. All the years of house construnction and deconstruction and demolition all culminated in THIS. And all of this was in the middle of cleaning for Christmas company. Seriously.

To-Do update 2011

2010-12-27T08:40:00.003-06:00

Apparently I never made an official 2010 to do list, but there was enough left over from 2009 that I'll start with that.

The last 'to do' update is here, and I'm updating from that - http://mytotalpv.blogspot.com/2009/11/to-do-update-from-last-year.html

The chickens have a heater on the water which has made chores there much easier. I got a heated bowl for the dogs at the same time - this saves lots of trips with buckets.

The porch will be rebuilt this year, but we havn't touched it since the repair in 2009.

Gutters I'm still on the fence about - there are two cisterns near the house to fill in first, and I don't think gutters will be needed for most of the house once those are fixed because of the eaves and ground slope.

Painting is mostly done but we have a few hard to get to places to finish - we'll finish this spring some time.

Weatherization we could do more of, but we've done some. The house this year is far, far warmer since we have the stove working finally. We haven't had nearly the issues with pipes freezing either, which makes for much more sleep at night.

Firewood - Geez. I didn't have nearly enough wood cut. We finally have the chimney lined and the kitchen queen stove running 24x7. That takes a LOT of wood. I'm buying most of it, which still saves money, but I plan to cut a lot more for next year.

We did not get a milk cow, nor a steer, but we did get sheep! We're excited about it. We'll have lambs in the spring and we have all sorts of plans for this. It's been a lot of work, but we're set up for a cow now as soon as we decide we are ready.

We didn't rock the driveway - I've pretty much decided against it this year as well, that money is better spent on other stuff.

We've burned a lot of brush, but the folks I called to clean up the junk never came back. I'll call them again in the spring to see if they are interested in the scrap. If not, we'll start doing it a little at a time. Every time I look at that junk pile that was left on the property I get irritated at the 10+ years of laziness that created it.

Bees we're well into - Danelle has been tending three hives for BlueGate farm and we plan to get a few hives of our own started this year.

The basement bulkhead and garage wall is still pending repair, but it's holding nicely. The new tractor will make clearing out some of the cement for that much easier, this will probably be put off another year.

Some of the major accomplishments this year -

Expanding to 18 pigs and bringing them all to market successfully. We plan to raise between 30 and 40 this year, and I hope to acquire our first breeding animals as well. This was a lot of work, every day. We've got some new feeders and strategies for feeding/watering that should make this easier now though.

We're shepherds now as I mentioned above - 14 sheep and a llama. We'll be selling the fleece for hand spinning and some lambs for meat.

Bees! Danelle did the apprenticeship and she'll continue that and we'll get our own hives soon.

We've got 20ish fruit trees planted. Step 2: Wait 5 years. sigh.

The stove being installed was a huge deal for us - that project sapped tons of vacation time, energy and money trying to get completed, but it's done. The house is now warm, and if the power goes out it will stay that way - this is a huge relief, and we're glad to move on.

Starting with late last year, we've had an enormous amount of vehicle trouble. Probably around $7500+ this year went for repairs, parts, tires, etc. My truck is still not back from getting a new transmission. It's frustrating to think of what we could have gotten done if that stuff hadn't happened. But it's all done now right? Right?

We attended our first farm auction and purchased a trailer for a good price - we've used it a LOT. Enough that I've considered selling it and upgrading, but that probably won't happen for a while.

We purged most of the one-off chicken breeds from the laying flock and have selected buff orpingtons and barred rocks as our go forward layers. We also hatched our own clutch of chickens on farm (that was really fun).

Our garden flopped from inattention - I'll be fixing that this year by scaling back a lot. We did have lots of success harvesting the mulberries, mint, and strawberries that came with the farm. Plenty was put up for the rest of the year.

Lot's of 'almost done' repairs on the south side house siding - one more section to finish.

We did some 'sample sundays' with Prairie Land Herbs which helped prepare us being on the farm crawl at Reicharts Dairy-aire. This was a ton of work and forced us to spend time and money on promotional materials that have been very helpful.

Baby Isaac was born in November - he's a quiet one so far. Having mama be able to be up and around again is nice - this was a hard pregnancy for her.

As I said last year, I'll try to put out an actual 'to do' later.

Don't Turn Down Help When Offered

2010-12-19T22:42:00.002-06:00

Yesterday Lil'Bug came to me and asked if there was something she could clean and mop. Why yes! I gave her the three tasks of the downstairs bathroom: spray and wipe down the shower stall with vinegar mix, scrub the fingerpaint and toothpaste off the sink, and sweep and mop the floors. 30 minutes later she had done all three tasks and done them pretty well. Not perfect (still blue and green on the sink and the shower was only done as high as she could reach) BUT there was no way I was going to touch what she did.

It might have crushed her if I had finished them up, saying by my actions that she had not done a good enough job. Instead, I praised her and gushed over how much her help made ME feel appreciated. She tried to get Blueberry Girl to help, but that little ninja didn't think the task was naughty enough to sound fun. She's more into the mess making side of things right now. She tried to recreate the flour incident with a small box of baking soda. I still can't believe that the picture we sent to SMKR didn't make the daily posts? Oh well.

I will add that I HATE this bathroom. It needs so much work. There is no working light or outlet, the window falls in when I try to open it, and a panel of wall next to the toilet is out right now to better keep the pipes from freezing.

And still, it is nice to have a working shower (especially when working pigs) and a second bathroom and a bathroom on the main floor for guests and potty training ninja babies. Once our Des Moines house sells, this bathroom will get a nice spa treatment with a mudmask and makeover. It will be lovely.

Pictures of Ewe.....

2010-12-18T08:38:00.000-06:00

From left to right, Buttercup, three lambs, and the famous Marshmallow! I know, I can actually count. There are actually two brown lambs, one is hiding behind Mama Buttercup. Welcome to our little piece of Iowa heaven dears!

Pictures of You.....

2010-12-17T20:32:00.000-06:00

The Smells of the Holidays

2010-12-17T08:26:00.000-06:00

There's no way to sweeten the ideal, we are pig farmers and have three rough and tumble kids under 7. That means I do a LOT of laundry and deal with a lot of really bad smells. Those of you with kids and or pigs probably know that the majority of these smells come from the kids!

But there is a catch, everyone in our house is allergic to commercial chemicals, deoderizers, and fragrances and it is a range of reactions, from severe skin blistering to headaches to sinus irritation. It is easy enough to switch to hyper allergenic clothes washing, pure soaps, and natural cleaners but what about getting smells out of unconventional places and what about pleasant scents?

My first step is always to clean, but that's not always enough.

To start with, white vinager is a great deoderizer. Works the same way that Febreeze does, it pickles the stink and kills the bacteria. I used to demonstrate Febreeze and had to study the product before hand. Basically the same idea. I add a little peppermint oil to the bottle so when it dries it smells minty fresh! My oldest daughter calls this Peppermint Pickle spray. I works as a first aid spray too (all be it a painful one) and a quick hand sanitizer. I use a mix of this as a rinse in my clothes washer too.

Then to make the house fragrant if company is coming I collect the orange/clementine peels and mostly eaten apples that are abundant this time of year at my house. Through the day the girls add them to a stove pot, I cover with water and add a cinnamon stick or two and simmer; add water as needed. Ta da! It adds humidity we need right now and smells amazing with no allergic reactions. I have also done this with just mint, but it is not as strong.

How do you combat stink at your house?

Happy Happy Farm Day for Farmer Chad

2010-12-07T19:20:00.001-06:00

Frugal Fruit

2010-12-07T00:30:00.001-06:00

When Julia asked me to take part in her frugal blog tour, I struggled to think of a topic. Then it came to me....fruit!

Who doesn't love fruit? Or rather who does in my house....the answer is everybody including our livestock. What is not to love? It is healthy and sweet and full of good nutrients. It can also be expensive but it doesn't have to be.

In fact, most of the fruit brought home to our farm last summer was free. Even when we lived in the city I managed to "score" hundreds of pounds of fresh, ripe, organic fruit for free. How? I paid attention and I asked.

The first year I brought home the apples it was because a nursing home posted online that they had trees that needed picking. When the facility was built, various fruit trees were planted and now they were basically neglected and so heavy with fruit the branches were breaking. Organic by neglect and only a short drive from home, we brought our own picker and had at it. Every year I go back (with the grounds keeper's permission) with buckets in hand and a few friends and we bring home more than enough apples and pears to fill my pantry and freezer for the year.

This year I brought extra buckets and cleaned up all the windfall too (the grounds keeper was thrilled!). The hogs and chickens we raise could not get enough. That go me thinking about how to get them more......so I asked around. Anyone I know have an apple tree that was bothering them? Ha! Surprisingly, four or five friends did have an apple tree problem. Perfect, lovely apples that were just going to waste were suddenly put to very good use with a very small effort on my part. I brought home about 4000 lbs of apples this year to feed 18 Berkshire pigs that we pasture.

When we lived cityside I would also see neglected trees while walking my kids and dog around the neighborhood. Peaches, apricots, cherries, and mulberries that no one bothered to pick. A quick knock on a door or a note left in the screen would not only yield my pantry but also expand my community.

I also added wild crafting to my fruit gathering repertoire. I found red and black raspberries wild in my own backyard. Then I found wild plum, mulberries, boysenberries, elderberries, an blackberries. I gathered and froze or canned and much as I could. Then I started to notice these berries everywhere we went, public parks and ditches were overflowing with food! (Note: most ditches in Iowa are sprayed with pesticide and they manage road runoff so not the best place for harvest, IMO).

Not all my fruit needs were satisfied this way though. My kids are HUGE peach fans and no one who had peaches were giving those up for free. Ha! A local family owned store near us had 50 lb crates of Missouri peaches for $13 dollars this summer. I bought 5 over the course of two months and canned 2 of them. The the rest my kids ate out of hand and any spoilage went to our chickens. This same store had apricots and blueberries for a similar price too. I asked the storekeeper about spoilage and a few times they called me and sold me crates of bruised fruit for 3$ at the end of the week. CRATES! That all went to the pigs. Pigs like bruised fruit. It doesn't hurt to ask.

We also cultivated our own garden fruit too. A small patch (10 ft by 15 ft) of strawberries yielded 135 lbs of fruit for us this year. We froze about 90lbs, ate until we were red in the face, and shared with friends too. We planted raspberry canes and watermelons too.

When my kids chomp through the fruit basket for the week I don't cringe at the expense. I know the ingredient list and I know who picked it for the most part. My freezer is brimming with the summer bounty and I will relish the taste of local sunshine in pies, smoothies, and fruit Popsicles all winter.

Lactivism, and AWESOME friends, and why I fed my baby formula

2010-11-15T15:11:00.002-06:00

Let me start of by saying that prior to last week, I was proud of the fact that formula had never, by my knowledge, touched my children's lips. I had no intention of changing that. Sometimes though, babies turn your world and what you might think you know upside down.

When I posted this picture on our facebook album my husband wrote:

"Some clarification, Isaac was 5 pounds 4 ounces at birth, 4 lbs 7 ounces after day 1, and slightly jaundiced from day 1. Also because of the c-section Danelle's milk wasn't coming in on day 1 (this is normal). Normally a kid not eating for a day or so isn't a big deal, so most moms won't need formula even if milk doesn't come in for a day or so (just keep counting wets until it does), but we needed to start feeding right away to keep the jaundice from becoming serious. This was one of those medically necessary times when formula saves lives - I'm glad we had the 20 oz or so that he ate, I hope we never need it again. Also, formula tastes absolutely disgusting, and based on how much more breast milk he ate as soon as he got the chance, I'm pretty sure Isaac thought so as well."

Chad fed Isaac the formula (after he taste tested it, and I think it is really cool that he would try it first), I wanted no chance there would be nipple confusion. Our doula called to check on us and drove out to us at 10 pm at night to bring us fenugreek pills and tea, just to help things along. She had JUST arrived at home from vacation too, her back up had attended the birth. I was a little anxious because I wasn't even producing colostrum or feeling the tissue changes that usually follow birth and precede milk flow.

While Chad fed Isaac, I picked up my phone and did something most people would find really hard to do. I called a friend and asked her if I could have some of her breastmilk for Isaac. Before I even finished breathing through that sentence, she said yes. We only needed a little bit, a 1/2 pint, maybe a pint. Just to get him through until my milk came in. She was there, driving 65+ miles, the next morning, milk in hand.

Then I was worried how the hospital staff would react. Silly me. They all thought it was GREAT! They even separated out the feedings into prepped bottles for us. Seriously, this has got to be the most mama friendly hospital birth center EVER.

We were discharged the next day and my milk let down, pretty much as we walked in the door home.

I wish there were more milk banks. I wish more mamas and babies had access to friends who would donate the liquid gold that is breastmilk. The sad fact is that most do not, most mamas in situations like ours face the insecurity that the delayed milk let down brings, most have no choice but formula, don't know to keep pumping, don't have doula support that will go to three different stores late at night to bring them tea, don't have the blessing of an extremely mama/baby friendly birth center, friends that will pump and deliver milk......most mom's have formula and panic that their baby is sick.

We were blessed for true and if I could change the world, every county would have a milk bank or at least a network of mamas in milk that would pump at a moment's notice to help new babies.

You know what though, the biggest factor in our continuing success in breastfeeding despite difficulties with latch, let down, ect.....was my husband. He researched, cheered me on, bought nipple shields at Babies R' Us, and cheered me on in the middle of the night when things were particularly frustrating. Much of our support system the first time around was very pro formula and even anti breastfeeding. Couple that with our initial difficulties and we would have quit and given in to social pressure, unnecessarily. Honestly, formula is not evil, but it is meant to be a breastmilk substitute in medically necessary situations. Somehow it has become a lifestyle choice, and that is something that makes me sad for mamas and for babies who really want to and are led to believe they can't.

Family Day, Meeting the Baby

2010-11-14T18:46:00.001-06:00

Mama and baby Zap. Not even newborn clothes fit him.

All tired out.....

Grandma Nana

Tanning Booth

Grampa Tex

Aunt Bee

Baby Zap, Lil'Bug, and Blueberry Girl

2010-11-13T15:24:00.000-06:00

You know what's awesome? Babies.

2010-11-08T20:02:00.000-06:00

Isaac Waldren Stamps was born today - he wasn't very happy about it though. 18" tall, 5.5 pounds. I hear he is several thousand dollars in debt but I haven't told him yet. Baby and Mama are fine.

Something is Actually Wrong This Time

2010-11-06T11:59:00.002-05:00

The retest on Friday did not come out all happy sunshine like I wanted. I've developed Pre-eclampsia and it is slowing getting worse. Lucky for me and baby, the key word there is slowly, so I am back at home on full bed rest. The only "cure" for this condition is having the baby, but the baby has decided to protest by backing off contractions almost entirely. I have no other symptoms other than higher than normal and increasing BP and protein spilling. No swelling, no headaches. Unless you count frustration over bedrest an actual symptom.

I was relived to find out that the swelling in my toe is merely and infection. Possibly from an ingrown I removed at home, possibly from a splinter I removed from the nailbed, either way it's infected pretty bad. I'm on antibiotics now and "should" start feeling relief Monday or Tuesday. I was worried edema was starting. Glad it's not that.

Some other thoughts I had....

I looked a lot of resources online about Pre-e and a lot say that it can be prevented by a good diet. Talk about guilt. My my diet is awesome. I take prenatals. I only drank 1 small cup of coffee on occasion (think every other week). Fresh and local eggs and meat and veg. So why do I feel guilty? For the slice of cheesecake? The breakfast pizza from Casey's while doing pork deliveries? I can't imagine that those rare diversions from our normally awesome diet could have caused this? But the thought lingers.

And then regarding salt restriction.....I don't consume a lot of salt. Less than a teaspoon a day.In fact when I make dinner, 4-8 servings will get about that much overall. I use a seasoning salt on our eggs, but for four servings together the eggs get 1/2 or less a teaspoon of the seasoning mix. I use salted butter for somethings. So how to restrict salt intake without eliminating it all together? The reason I am worried about that is many sources I found said restrict, do NOT eliminate, and use sea salt -which we already do. In fact many of those sources said even restricting salt makes problems worse for pregnancy pre-eclampsia, which is the opposite effect it might have on a non pregnant person with high blood pressure. This is because the root causes are different. But I don't have a medical degree, and the Internet is full of good and bad advice and data. So I am frustrated.

Did I mention bedrest is horrible? My girls get lots of extra cuddles, but I feel guilty that Lily makes us breakfast and lunch. I feel awful watching my overwhelmed and overworked husband have to take over the majority of housework when he's already up at 5am, home from work at 6, dinner, and out with evening farm chores until 8-9 only to come in and put the girls to bed.....all while I am in bed or on the couch. He looks like he's about to drop and now he's got a head cold to boot. That is the most horrible part of this whole ordeal, watching my family suffer and feeling completely responsible for it.

So here's to having a baby soon!

My Girls on Halloween

2010-11-06T09:15:00.001-05:00

Lil'Bug wanted to be a ghost bride for Halloween. This required make-up (not flour, she said). I am not good at make up of any kind, but I did my best. She also wanted sparkle in her hair, which is still there a week later.

Blueberry Girl wanted to be a fairy like Tinkerbell but not Tinkerbell. So she picked out this orange petticoat ensemble, plus orange wings (not pictured) and when we got home she dug the main dress out of the dress up box. Some days she is still a little baby, and some days is so grown up.

Sometimes I forget. I forget what it was like to be a kid and have such imagination, that kids are able to envision and put together projects with both needed material and things on hand. Halloween is fun like that, but really my girls do this everyday. When left unrestrained, boredom quickly necessitates creativity, especially if kids are given access to materials. If they aren't, even then they improvise (um, flour?).

I love my girls. I love that I learn right along with them.

Baby is almost here.

2010-11-04T16:53:00.000-05:00

This pregnancy is blessed/cursed with false positives on routine tests. At first it freaked me out. Now I don't worry.

Tuesday was no different. Higher than normal for me blood pressure (still normal for most people) and protein in urine test. So I was put on modified bed rest and retesting Friday. No big deal. I was sick Sunday and Monday so I probably got dehydrated or some such. Why worry? If the doc was worried, I'd have been admitted or retested Wednesday.

Saturday I hit the medical files benchmark of 38 weeks. In my book its still just 37. Either way, I am good to go. Bags are packed. House is not clean (thank you modified bed rest!) but it's not terrible yet. I'll give the girls a few more days before it's designated totally destroyed (or you know, access to the pantry.)....Lily has been a huge help, she brought in groceries and put them away and THEN filled the firebox for me. She's also been in charge of Holly when I can't get up or fall asleep.

Clothes are washed. Almost put away. Need to pay bills and update grades. I think I'll do that tonight. I am glad not to have predromal labour this time. Just saying.

Simple Pasta Sauce

2010-11-04T08:19:00.000-05:00

Diced Tomatoes (that's how I can mine) (2 cups)
Crushed garlic (1 large clove)
Simmer.

That's it. I use that for our homemade pizza and for basic pasta dishes. It tastes fresh and bright.

This week I made an extra fancy version and added 1 diced onion, 2 cups of spinach, and some Italian herbs. Then I added 1 cup of beef bone broth.

With that extra fancy sauce I made a lasagna. For that I just layered the sauce, ground beef and pork sausage, a cheese mix (mozzarella, Parmesan, and cottage cheese mixed with 4 farm eggs), and noodles- topped with more mozzarella cheese. It was easy, extremely healthy, and so good everyone had seconds (even Blueberry Girl, whose mantra lately has been, "I don't like it!").

New Additions to the Farm!

2010-11-03T15:31:00.002-05:00

Dolly - Dark brown and white female, registered, mother of Stormy. Not extremely approachable but tolerates shearing.

Blizzard - a white unregistered full Icelandic wether, well tempered, probably also about 4-5 years old.

Sheepies!

Or a handful of sheep and a llama. There are eight sheep. I think. They wouldn't pose for a picture all together, but there are 5 all white sheep and 3 coloured ones. We are still learning about these sheep, as individuals and as breeds. Learn as we go!

The llama let me hand feed her until the girls came up to the fence. She did not like Blueberry Girl especially or our dog. She didn't seem to mind Lil'Bug though. I fed them some grain from my hand and we petted them.

Poppy - a great mother - Rambouillet/Suffolk/Dorset mix ewe - I think also about 4-5 years old. Mixed colours of black and white. I think. I still need to confirm with Claire!

Grampa loading the sheep last night! We love that this is a whole FAMILY operation. I think, and this is really just a guess, that he might like the sheep better than the pigs. :)

Sausage and Duck Gumbo

2010-11-02T13:00:00.001-05:00

couple slices of bacon
1/2 cup of butter and flour (for roux)
Andouille sausage (1 lb), cut into bite size pieces
1 onion, chopped smaller than bite size
3 stalks of celery, chopped bite size
1 green bell pepper, chopped bite size
1 clove or garlic crushed and minced (or 1 tsp of garlic powder)
1 Tbs of seasoning salt (like Swamp Fire or Slap Yo Mama)
1 Tbs of dried parsley
2 quarts (1/2 gallon) of duck (or chicken) broth
3 bay leaves

Fry bacon slices and sausage
Add celery, crushed garlic, bell pepper, and onions
When everything is fried up and spattering, add the broth
Bring to a boil and then simmer.
Add bay leaves and season to taste
Make roux with melted butter and flour, add to soup to thicken.

I used Jasmine rice to serve it over, but traditionally long grain is used.

Later, I served it over rice noodles and the girls actually licked their bowls clean. THAT is a rare occasion. They had seconds and ate until all the gumbo was gone.

That meant that the recipe above made enough for two full meals for a very hungry family of four.

Happy Birthday to my not so little Lil'Bug

2010-11-01T22:54:00.000-05:00

Happy 6th birthday my baby girl. I love you more than you will ever know.

Pumpkin into Food for Now and Later

2010-10-24T19:18:00.001-05:00

This is how we roast pumpkin to make pumpkin puree for pies and soups. Under each half is a tablespoon of salted butter. This variety is small sugar pumpkin. I like it for processing this way the best of all the pumpkins recommended for pies and soups mostly because I can do three at a time, the vine produces quite a few and they ripen before the vine gets mildew or attacked by stink bugs. They store well too. All around a great pumpkin.

I remove from the oven (set at 350-400 degrees F) after about an hour or when I start to see the skin split.

I let cool until I can easily touch them without being burned. Then the skins will have started to curl off, and they easily peel off by pulling with my finger or prodded with a butter knife. I turn them over and scrape the seeds out of the center, but I leave the stringy part mostly. It all goes into the food processor and gets pureed, why waste it?

After whirring a bit in the processor (a blender works too), I scoop into freezer bags or jars in about 2 cup (16 oz) amounts. That's what most recipes call for. From there I can make mashed pumpkin (like mashed potatoes with more nutrients, pumpkin soup, pumpkin bread, or pie filling.

For pie filling I actually cook the pumpkin goo for a little bit on the stove top with butter and cream and seasonings (I like cinnamon and nutmeg), puree it again to get the texture just right and then use whatever recipe calls for a "can of pumpkin" but this way it's free of preservatives and can stuff.

See? Pumpkin IS food and not just porch decoration. ;)

Reverse Bucket List

2010-10-23T15:46:00.000-05:00

These are not the things I hope to accomplish, but those I already have.

1)Became a mom. This only started with pregnancy and actually took months after Lil's birth. It wasn't an "oh here's the baby, now you are a mom," deal.
2)Became a wife. Same deal. Took years.
3)Fell in love, stayed in love, still in love.
4) Had my writing published.
5) Led a protest rally and march. Had it work. Saved the jobs of my friends and colleagues who were not allowed to march on their own behalf.
6) Restored a house.
7) Started a farm.
8) Learned to garden.
9) Learned to render.
10) Learned to can my own food without killing my family.
11) Learned to sew.
12) Stated emotional boundaries and stood up for myself.
13) Had lunch with Forbes in their townhouse and got a private tour of their Faberge collection.
14) Hugged Tori Amos.
15) Had my picture taken with one of the Johns of TMBG.
16) Watched shooting stars and had wishes come true.
17) Lunched with Iowa "Governor" Ray without knowing who he was. Talked his ear off for about 2 hours.
18) Visited New York before.
19) Got my Masters or Arts degrees.
20) Sat in a Whaddya Know audience.
21) Drove a truck in 4 wheel drive.
22) Drove a truck in 4WD hauling a lift and (after getting stuck) hauling it out of a snow embanked ditch.
23) flew in a hot air balloon
24) chased and outsmarted pigs.
25) loved, laughed, cried.
26) Saw Peter Gabriel perform live with Sindade O'Conner
27) Saw David Bowie perform live with Trent Reznor
28) Saw the Clash (actually Big Audio Dynamite 2, but really they will always be the Clash) perform live
29) Had film footage of myself and a friend get used in a U2 zootv concert. That was my very first live concert, too.
30) climbed to the top of Ruby Mountain mostly on foot.
31) Advocated for someone in front of City Council and won.
32) Served on a City Commission as a professional/expert
33) Served on a State Board of Directors as a professional
34) Hosted a Statewide conference on Historic Preservation (though it tanked)
35) survived.
36) stood up to a health care provider who was wrong and disrespectful about being wrong
37) told the truth, and in the face of being called a liar and crazy, did not back down.
38) made apple pie from scratch
39) felt confident and pretty without wearing make up
40) saw the moons of Jupiter

Things I would like to do:
1) swim in the Mediterranean
2) walk inside a building that is more than a 1000 years old
3) drink milk still warm from the cow
4) finish my novel(s)
5) help someone else succeed at breastfeeding

Dreaming of a White Christmas

2010-10-15T21:12:00.000-05:00

If anyone ever asks....there is a downside to buying in bulk. This is what 50 lbs of local bread flour looks like after a "flour party". I had a student freak out about an assignment revision and had to take a 10 minute phone call.....the girls called up the stairs and ask if they can have....I heard....a "flower party!" Sigh. What was I thinking?

I was in shock. I came down to find them slip n' sliding through three rooms, giggling maniacally, and I just scooped them up and stuck them in a bath. After about five minutes I realized that water + flour= glue, but it was too late. Their scalps and hair were solid flour glue. That was really quite punishment enough. 5 lather and rinses later, it just stung and their hair was breaking off. (The next day I got some cradle cap conditioner, left it in for 30 minutes, and used a lice comb to get the bits out. It worked, but they were really in tears by that point.) Oh and then they thought it was funny to flood the bathroom floor. On a roll, my girls.

The night of the flour party, Chad got home and talked to each girl. They in turn apologized and helped clean up, but we still have flour on everything, two incapacitated-until-we-clean-them vacuum cleaners, and did I mention flour dust on EVERYTHING? They also dumped out my yeast jar in an attempt to make couch bread.

Oh, and I had just cleaned the downstairs to "company is coming" clean (note the video shelf organized?).....because we had company coming. Luckily they were understanding enough, delayed a day, and we had time to vacuum 50 more times. Not like it helped though.

Is it funny? Maybe it will be in a few years. Or maybe they have pushed my sanity past its limit and that's why I am laughing. When my girls do something, they really go BIG.

That said, we might be gluten free for a while. ;)

Adding to the Farm Equipment

2010-10-14T08:12:00.000-05:00

We (or at least I) moved to the farm to start an orchard, the pigs were a side operation that kind of took on its own life. We are happy there is demand and that the pigs are paying for more of the farm to be built up. But, at least for me, the orchard is still the prize we are working towards. This summer I took up beekeeping. We will plant 25 more trees in the next few weeks, and I have been searching high and low for a cider press that we could afford and worked and was in good condition AND that would double as a cheese press.

Then we found one for sale online, pretty near the major city to the north of us. At a great price, when we happened to have the money.

It needs to be sanded down and the wood re-oiled with food grade mineral oil but other than that it is in fantastic shape. We will do our first pressing of apples next weekend. The pigs will get the apple pulp and we'll freeze the yummy juice.

We also inherited 2 antique hand churn ice cream makers! They too need work, but not only were they free, but carry part of our family history!

What amazing things have you found at garage sales, wanted/for sale adds, or in a friend's basement?

Fishing with Cousin J and Aunt J.....

2010-10-12T22:47:00.000-05:00

Or up a pond with one paddle? I am a terrible outdoors woman. This includes being put in charge of gathering fishing gear. Worms? Send the 5 year old out to the garden. Hooks? Surely this random tackle box in the Morton building has some in it? Trolling motor? Whaaaaa? Oh yeah, we have one of those, I remember once we are out to the middle of the pond fighting algae and wind with only one usable paddle.

You see, I cook what they catch. I don't even clean what the catch. I prop my feet up and read a book while everyone else fishes. So why did I think I could co-ordinate a fishing expedition with Aunt J? Because I was nervous and trying to impress her I guess. Which, I did not do. I can only hope that the kids had fun!

Tootalini A La Aunt J.'s Grandma Bartoletti

2010-10-05T19:54:00.052-05:00

Sometimes taking a long time to do something complicated is the way to simplify.

This week I met my sister in law. She's been married to my brother for six years, I think. I am not close to my brother and don't know him or his family well, but last month he deployed to serve in Afghanistan with the Iowa National Guard. Being a soldier was his dream from as far back as I remember him playing GI Joe in the sandbox. We lost touch in adulthood, seeing each other at funerals or running into each other at the local coffee house. But I am so proud of the duty he doing for our country and for the sacrifice he has made to his family. His wife and little girl are hanging on, worried about him, and over a year left to go.

I had become familiar and comfortable with not knowing them, and suddenly my heart hurt. I may never see my little brother again. What if I never get to know his family? What could I possibly do for him or them during this incredibly enormously difficult time in their lives. They are living something I can not even begin to imagine. My husband comes home every night, they go weeks without contact. There is nothing I can do to make any of that better.

Then my brother called me. He's not ever done that, not even when we were growing up. He's never called me, not even to return a call. Ever. And then he did. His request was simple. Just be there for them. Get to know them. Tell them stories about us growing up, the nice ones.

So I reached out. And J. and Miss J. came to stay at our farm for a "weekend". She brought with her a recipe for "Tootalini" that was her grandmother's, and that she made growing up for family holidays.

It was a full day long project to make the broth from beef neck bones, make and knead the pasta, roll it out, make the filling, and stuff and shape the noodles. In doing so, we got to talk, to get to know each other, share family histories, and talk about our children. She is a lovely lady and a very caring mother and my brother is one lucky guy. Making and eating food together is an incredibly old and ancient bonding.

And my family was blessed by her visit.

Here, with her permission, is her grandmother Bartoletti's recipe:

Pasta:
8 Cups of Flour
6 farm fresh eggs
1 cup (2 sticks) of salted butter
approx 2 cups of water - until dough is doughy.....

Filling:
3 lbs of ground sirloin
3 farm fresh eggs
parsley flakes
allspice (add to taste)
1/2 cup of butter
salt
grated Asiago cheese

Broth: (grass fed) beef neck bones, celery, onion, carrot, tomato (her recipe says tomato paste), and salt to taste. Boil then simmer for 8+ hours. Strain solids off for a clear delicious broth.

Then:

Roll out pieces of dough, thin.

Let babies play with bits and in the flour!

Cover main chunk of dough so it does not dry out.

Then take little bits of the filling and roll into balls. Place along the edge.

Roll up and over and pinch/press around each little lump.

Cut into squares.

Fold bottom under and top "flaps" over to look like little ladies with hoods/bonnets. You can make them sing and dance to entertain the littles too.

Place on tray and then freeze.

Later, pull them off the tray frozen and store in bags or place in boiling broth for a meal that is hearty, filling, and simple all at the same time. I sent home food with Aunt J, and filled a shelf of my freezer too. The broth is really versatile and I've made a mushroom and beef based rice noodle soup with it, cooked up ground beef with it, and just heated a cup for a snack. Good to have on hand.

Both my girls and little cousin J. flitted to and from the table, sometimes helping, sometimes playing. The recipe took a lot of the day, but at the end our tummies and hearts were full of joy. Sometimes life is simple when you actually take the time to do something as complicated as make Tootalini from scratch or get to know someone, you know?

Farm Crawl 2010!

2010-10-03T21:16:00.001-05:00

Farm Crawl 2010. It is still incredible to me that our farm booth was ON the crawl this year. In 2007 I was newly pregnant with Blueberry Girl, Lil'Bug was two, almost three years old, and we lived cityside, still dreaming of living on a farm. At that time being on a farm seemed like a very far away dream.

In 2008, we attended Farm Crawl with the intent to meet our new neighbors. We had a closing date on our farm and moving and planning and farming was just a few months away.

In 2009, we had too much farm work to do and actually loaded our first harvest of four pigs onto a trailer to haul to the butcher in Milo- so we missed the Crawl!

That brings us to now.....2010 Farm Crawl. We were invited to set up at the dairy where we get the whey for our pigs. It made sense. We have a wonderful relationship with Lois (I might be her biggest cheese fan EVER). The girls, while I was still doing "bucket runs," adored playing with her goats and cats and chickens.We wanted to show off our farm products well, so we practiced the table display a few times, bought cards and a banner (the logo was designed by a friend of mine), and hoped for good weather.

Farm Crawl for us began much earlier in the day. We were greeted by some of our hostesses at the far end of the field! Last Spring these ladies were just kids (baby goats) and Lil'bug would play with them while Lois and I loaded whey buckets. It wasn't long after that just Lois was loading the buckets and I was relegated to stacking empty buckets!

Lil'bug helped set up the table display. Here she was explaining how much she has grown this year.....or that she's a really tall robot. :) Mostly she helped keep Blueberry Girl from eating the crayons.

We got the display and our banner affixed to the table.....just in time to start greeting customers.

We had other plans for the girls that didn't work out, so they played with us and each other all day at the Farm Crawl. Mostly. They also played with all the other kids, entertained anyone who'd pay attention, gave mini tours of the chicken area and hay bales, fetched and served water to anyone who would take it (they LOVED the Sponge Bob cups that were being used).

They also talked to people about our farm and then caught frogs, toads, and.....

....a lovely Iowa milk snake. We've never caught a wild one. Neat that it was actually AT a dairy! Lil'Bug plans to add this to her documentation project for Iowa Herp Net.

The girls shared a snack while there was a very small lull in traffic.

Then Blueberry Girl pretended to be a chicken and took a dust bath. They had so much fun that we never had need to stop working and take them out for a break.

It was a very good day for a Farm Crawl. We were thrilled and grateful to be included. Thank you so much to all the friends that came out to see us and support our efforts. Thank you to all the hard working farmers that organize and put this event on every year. Thank you to our current and future customers who are making our dream of running a small family farm come true!

Farm Crawl!

2010-10-02T19:51:00.001-05:00

We'll be at the Farm Crawl in southern Iowa tomorrow - hope to see you there!

Cracklings and Lard Uses

2010-09-25T22:32:00.000-05:00

"Cracklings (American) or crackling (British) is a crisp, deep fried food that may be made from various animals. Pork rind cracklings are popular in the American south. The skin of all kinds of poultry are used to make cracklings, including duck, chicken, goose and game birds. Some classic dishes, such as cassoulet depend on a top crust made crunchy by turning the skin of the duck used in the dish into a topping. Cracklings of all kinds are eaten plain, folded into breads and dumplings, and sprinkled atop dishes on their way to the table to add crunch. They are part of all traditional European cuisines, since the use of all parts of a butchered animal was nutritionally and economically important. They are called Gribenes and traditionally made from goose or chicken in Ashkenazi Jewish cuisine."- from Wikipedia

So that's what they are. Our fat comes ground from our butcher so we're not going to get nice little squares to be made into chips. However, there are LOTS of tasty uses for cracklings here at the farm!

The crackling product coming from or off of the slow cooker, low heat fat rendering into lard, looks like underdone ground pork. It is less meaty and more fatty and smells a bit like bacon. It needs to be cooked more before using, but stores best at this fresh off the lard form.

So to use it, thaw it. Then fry it up in a cast iron skillet over low to medium heat until it is crispy (high temps you risk flash point and lots of smoke). At this point, depending on how I am going to use it, I season it with a garlic, salt, pepper, and cayenne mix I use instead of plain salt. You can season it to taste many different ways, but the Cajun in me prefers cayenne. I've also uses thyme, salt, and cayenne with a bit of maple syrup. Look at what application you'll be putting them to, and season accordingly. I find that they have a slightly porky flavour unseasoned, but that it is rather bland.

So fried up and crisped and seasoned, what now?

I use in place of bacon bits on salad greens.
Mixed up with bread crumbs for casserole toppings.
Green bean casserole, as an ingredient and with the fried onion bits that go on top.
I intend to also use in white gravy for biscuits and gravy, but have not yet.
As a pan liner for cornbread. If used like this really pay attention to seasoning, it will carry the bread.
Sprinkle on roasts just before serving.
Add to brown gravies just before serving.
Mix with cream cheese or sour cream as a spread or dip.

So you see, it is more of a condiment, has a lot of flexibility, and use.

Now lard is just as easy. Any recipe that says use vegetable shortening (Crisco), substitute 1:1 for lard. Pretty easy that. You'll get flakier pie crusts, more tender cookies, lovely sweets.

Other uses:

Greasing pans for pancakes and egg or fish frying, for cakes and breads.
Slice open lean roasts and tuck in a bit of lard. Makes for really tender meat. Especially useful for dry lean venison roasts.
Oven fried potatoes, use instead of whatever oil you'd use. We used to use olive or peanut oil.
Fried chicken. Pan fried or deep fried. Results in a really crisp and delicious chicken breast.
Dutch oven popcorn. 2 Tablespoons of lard, 1 teaspoon of salt, cover the bottom of the oven with kernels, cover and heat. When popping is done, remove from heat. So incredibly good (can also be made with bacon grease, btw).
Fried with plantains and served with rice
Added to Asian style stir fry and fried rice (seasoned with soy sauce)

Last weekend I made plain old sugar cookies with lard instead of shortening as a taste test sample at a local farm open house. I used the most basic sugar cookie recipe I could find, no added flavours like cinnamon or vanilla. I subbed the lard and I switched out the called for corn syrup with maple syrup. These cookies were good. Not fabulous, but lots of people comment on the fact that they'd thought there would be a porky flavour from the lard and they just tasted like sugar cookies. That is exactly why I made them. There was even an older baby who'd never had a cookie before, and his mom gave him my cookie as his first! That was really flattering.

5 years ago my husband brought home lard for pie making and was super excited to use it. I was totally grossed out. At that point I still thought I had to microwave my food to make it safe to eat, even fresh out of the oven food would get zapped for 30 seconds. How far I've come that I now raise and render my own lard. Food for thought, I guess.

Are there any uses I have left out? What do you or would you use lard and cracklings for?

How To Render Lard in a Crockpot or Slow Roaster

2010-09-18T10:56:00.001-05:00

Our butcher does not render the lard that our pigs produce for people, but they will grind it up and bag it to be included with the order. Still, rendering lard has set in our cultural imaginations as something dangerous, messy, smelly.....ect. I came across several historical accounts that involved houses burning down as a result of lard splatter during rendering or of severe, debilitating burn injuries. Most accounts talked of men with long sticks and huge kettles over open fires doing the rendering due to the danger factor.

I'm not kidding.

That doesn't work for our modern kitchens. At least not mine. I did a bit of research and found lots of links to sites that had people buying a couple lbs of lard and doing small batches on the stove top or in a dutch oven. But that's still not what I needed. Last year our butcher presented me with a full 5 gallon bag, frozen hard. It took three days to thaw mostly. I needed a way to do this thing in bigger batches and explain to customers how to do it too.

So my starting point was my experience last year. It wasn't hard, it did smell though, and the end results had some problems. This year I was having none of that.

My first batch was completed on Thursday and came out exactly how I wanted it to.

So start with the big old bag of frozen lard. This bag was about 3 gallons. I let it completely thaw in my fridge.

It would fit in my 7 quart crock pot, but I also have an 18 quart electric slow roaster that I wanted to try out. Either would have worked great. A smaller amount would work in a smaller crock pot too.

I scrubbed out all the equipment I was going to use. Any old food residue will contaminate, even dust from sitting in storage. Wash and rinse before use no matter how clean it looks.

I set the fat in the roaster and set it at 225 degrees (low on a crock pot). Some say to put 1/2 cup of water in too, but I didn't. I put the lid on and came back in 1 hr. In that time a lot of fat had liquefied so I scraped down the soft sides of the fat glob in the middle.

1 hr. later repeat.

Lots of extra room. A 7 quart crock pot would have been more than enough.

1 more hr. later and it had all liquefied and the meat chunks that will be cracklings were floating on the top. I stirred and broke those up a bit more. No splattering involved. No really any bad smell either. Many of the accounts I read said this is a critical time to watch though. The cracklings will soon sink and then rise up again. When they sink and then rise, it is done. If you wait too much longer then the lard will start to brown and take on a more porky flavour.

So now I was checking every 20 minutes or so and I actually saw the sinking in progress. Yay!

Very clean and clear.

Once that happened I got my containers out. Last year I used old yogurt and ice cream plastic containers. Bad idea. They looked clean, but were not. The result was that the cracklings got contaminated and spoiled fast, the lard also developed mold and growth at the bottom once thawed in the fridge. This year I used sterilized for canning (washed in hot water and soap then boiled in water for 10 minutes) glass freezer safe jars. In our experience, lard can last up to 2 years in the freezer, though the official time is more like 1 year. It is supposed to last 3-6 months in the refrigerator. Cracklings are more of a meat product and will last 6 months to a year in a freezer and 1 week in the fridge. So when storing cracklings think about how they will be used and store in individual servings (sandwich size freezer bags or small freezer safe 1/2 pint jars are what we use).

As it was cooling. Chad thought it was lemonade concentrate and almost tried to drink some.

To put in the jars I got out my widemouthed canning cone and some cheese cloth/mesh folded over 4 times. I just laid it in. I used a metal measuring cup and scooped the lard/cracklings mix into the mesh. The lard drained into the jars, the cracklings separated out. When enough cracklings built up, I dumped them into a big bowl to cool. I filled the jars just below the freeze line and capped with a sterile lid.

After cooling and freezing.

No splattering since it was all done at low heat. I laid a towel out to catch drips but those were minimal.

I did put my purse in the car (in case the house caught fire) and a bowl of ice water waiting (in case of burns). Neither was necessary.

Lard can be used in place vegetable shortening in any recipe. Crisco type shortening was developed to replace lard with its longer shelf life (of like 20 years, ew). Lard should not be shelf stable, ever.

Anyway. No mess, no stink/smell, super easy, clean jars. I'd call this year's process a success!

Simple Lives Thursday.....

Last Few Weeks in PIctures

2010-09-17T19:29:00.000-05:00

Lots of farm visits, lots of friends, lots of exploring, frog catching, running, playing.......and then we all were down with a stomach bug that I am still convinced might have been food poisoning. Then we were all up and back at it again. And that's life on the farm! Days like this have us running hard, but the laughing and smiling are what rejuvenate the heart. Thank you to all who have brought us joy this summer and this lifetime. :)

Family Farm, Picking Apples

2010-09-15T20:00:00.000-05:00

We made apple picking a family effort on weekend. Usually it is just me and the girls, but our wonderful friend Amanda said we could clear her entire, yummy, loaded tree and I needed help with the high branches. We still did not completely clear it and will have to make various trips for windfall soon. Also, not all these apples are for the pigs, as the girls have voted they are the yummiest apples ever. They are also storing amazingly well.

I love that our farm is a family effort. 3 generations working hard here. With many hands it didn't take long to gather three laundry tubs of apples. We'll head out this Saturday as well for our next round of picking. So grateful for these wonderful sources of food for our pigs.

Pig in the Pasture

2010-09-06T18:54:00.000-05:00

This pig is going to be harvested on Thursday. He is in the finishing acre, feasting on really good fresh picked apples (some windfall too, but not as much since we found a really good tree to pick for this week) and 10-15 gallons of whey per day between just four pigs. We also offer them grain but they are not eating much of that, opting for the delicious food instead. Next week the next round of pigs will also get pears. Very exciting change in season. :)